Selfharm: why people hurt themselves. Self-harm: why teenagers harm themselves The desire to hurt themselves

Compensation for harm General provisions When applying the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation in relation to compensation for material damage, the same amount of data and documents is required as when considering cases with victims, and it is necessary to submit to the court a report on the inspection of the accident site. From the traffic police such a protocol

Take (take) in your hands, shove yourself, shove yourself over yourself “Unknowingly, having taken it into your hands, try to be calm, showing you far away ...” - we read in the current explanation. Ale, in Ukrainian, you can pick up anyone or anyone, just not yourself: “Well,” Berthold grunted, “then

Causing HARM TO HEALTH - occurs as a result of intentional or careless actions (inaction), expressed in violation of the anatomical integrity or physiological functions of organs and tissues of the human body. In the Criminal Code, responsibility for

13 SUICIDE AND INTENTIONAL SELF-HARM In recent years, a significant proportion of those admitted to hospitals have been those who have deliberately taken excessive amounts of medication or otherwise harmed themselves. As it turns out, very few

Suicide and Intentional Self-Injury Incidents of intentional self-harm and suicide are rare among children under 12 years of age (although these events are more common in adolescence). These issues are discussed in Chap. 13, dedicated to suicide and intentional

"I am 14 years old. When scandals at school become unbearable, I take a penknife and try to hurt myself as much as possible. When there is no knife at hand, I stick a ballpoint pen into my skin or scratch myself until I bleed. I don't know why, but when I do that, it makes me feel better. It's like I'm pulling a splinter out of my body. Everything is fine with me?" Our site also receives such disturbing letters from teenagers.

There are also letters from parents: “My daughter is 15 years old. I recently noticed burn marks on her arm. It is not possible to talk about it, she takes every word of mine with hostility and refuses to meet with a psychologist. I feel completely powerless and don't know what to do now."

Blade marks on the forearm, cigarette burns on the body, cut legs - almost 38% of teenagers at least once tried to injure their body. Parents are horrified to realize that their own child is hurting himself. Automatic, at the level of a reflex, the desire to save him from pain is faced with an unusual obstacle - the absence of an enemy and an external threat. And the question remains: "Why did he do it?"

Contact with your body

In maturing children, from about 11–12 years old, desires, interests, behavior change - their inner world becomes different. It is especially difficult for teenagers to adapt to changes in their body. The arms and legs are extended, the gait changes, the plasticity of movements, the voice become different. The body suddenly begins to behave arbitrarily: erotic fantasies and treacherously spontaneous erections in boys; menstruation, often painful, in girls, can also begin at any time - at school, in training.

“The body seems to become something separate,” says family therapist Inna Khamitova. “Hurting yourself is one way to get in touch with him. The behavior of teenagers resembles the gesture of a person who has a terrible dream: he wants to stop him, pinch himself and wake up.

frightening world

At 37, Tatyana clearly remembers the years when she cut her thighs: “I grew up in a family where it was forbidden to complain - my parents did not understand this. As a teenager, I could not find words to express all that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut myself. Now I understand that it was a way not only to deceive adults, but also to console myself: now I know why I feel so bad.

In our family it was forbidden to complain. As a teenager, I could not find words to express everything that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut myself

Many modern teenagers, like Tatyana once, find it difficult to express their feelings - they do not know themselves enough, and they are frightened by adults' distrust of their feelings. In addition, many simply do not know how to speak openly and honestly about themselves. Having no other means to relieve mental stress, teenagers force themselves to experience pain.

“In this way they struggle with immeasurably great suffering,” says psychotherapist Elena Vrono, “it’s hard to trust yourself if you are sure that no one understands you, and the world is hostile. And even if it’s not, many teenagers’ behavior is driven by this very idea of ​​themselves and the world.” However, their actions, which frighten adults, are not connected with the desire to part with life. On the contrary, they confirm the desire to live - to cope with suffering and restore peace of mind.

Pain relief

The paradox of the moment is that teenagers experience damage to their bodies. infantile feeling of own omnipotence. “The body remains the only reality that completely belongs only to them,” explains Inna Khamitova. - By damaging it, they can stop at any moment. By controlling their bodies in such a wild (from the point of view of adults) way, they feel that they are in control of their lives. And it reconciles them with reality.”

And yet, their frightening behavior speaks of a desire to live - to cope with suffering and regain their peace of mind.

Physical pain always muffles the mental one, which they cannot control, because you cannot force the one you love yourself to love, you cannot change your parents ... It can also indicate experienced violence (mental, physical or sexual).

“By demonstrating the wounds that a teenager inflicted on himself,” says sociologist David le Breton, “he unconsciously draws attention to those that are not visible. The cruelty that children show towards themselves allows them not to show it towards others. It acts in the manner of bloodletting in ancient times: it relieves excessive internal tension.

They hurt themselves so they don't feel pain anymore. Many teenagers talk about the feeling of relief that comes with self-inflicted injuries. 20-year-old Galina also writes about this: “After the cuts, moments of absolute happiness came. All the dark feelings seemed to flow out of me along with the blood. I stretched out on the bed, and I finally felt better.” It is this kind of appeasement that entails the risk of becoming addicted: destroying yourself in order to feel better. It is based on the analgesic effect of the action of endorphins - hormones that are produced in the body to drown out pain.

family frames

“I cut myself from about 14 to 17 years old,” recalls 27-year-old Boris. - And he stopped only when, becoming a student, he left home. Today, thanks to psychoanalysis, I have come to the conclusion that this is how I experienced my mother's dislike. She did not want me to be born and made me understand this every day. For her, I was the most worthless creature who will never achieve anything. I felt terrible guilt and regularly punished myself for not being worthy of her love.”

“A child who lacked gentle touches in the first years of life, growing up, can continue to experience this painfully,” explains Elena Vrono. - The body, which he never perceived as a source of pleasant sensations, remains detached, external to his personality. Injuring himself, he seems to destroy the boundary between the inner and the outer.”

Cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children to attract the attention of adults to themselves. These are signals that parents can no longer dismiss, attributing them to the peculiarities of the transition period.

Parents can exacerbate the suffering of teenagers. “Out of the best of intentions, many of them try not to praise their children, as if they could be spoiled by this,” says Inna Khamitova. - But children at any age need support and approval. They believe what we tell them. If adults constantly criticize the child, the child gets used to the idea that he is a bad (ugly, clumsy, cowardly) person. Self-harm can also be a revenge on yourself for a sensitive teenager, a punishment for being so bad.

But by hating themselves, teenagers don't realize that they actually hate what others think of themselves. This is confirmed by 16-year-old Anna: “Recently, I had a big fight with my best friend. She told me terrible things - that I didn't love anyone and that no one would ever love me. At home, I felt so bad that I scratched all my knuckles on the plaster.

A teenager thinks something like this: “At least in relation to myself I will act as I want.” And always cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children to attract the attention of adults to themselves. These are signals that parents can no longer dismiss, writing them off as features of the transition period.

risk boundary

It is important to understand the difference between single strength tests (“can I stand this?”), blood-written vows of friendship, and repeated self-torture. The former are associated either with recognizing one's "new" body and experimenting with it, searching for new sensations, or with rituals that exist among peers. These are transitory signs of the search for oneself. Constantly trying to hurt yourself is a clear signal for parents to seek professional help. But in every case when teenagers show aggression towards themselves, it is necessary to understand what they want to say. And we must listen to them.

What to do?

Teenagers seek understanding and at the same time carefully protect their inner world from annoying intrusions. They want to talk - but they can't express themselves. “And therefore,” our experts believe, “perhaps the best interlocutor at this moment will not be parents who find it difficult to remain passive listeners, but one of their relatives or acquaintances who can be there, sympathize and not panic.”

Sometimes it's enough to stop a child. good thrashing from parents. In such a paradoxical way, they make it clear that he has gone too far, and express concern. But if such behavior becomes a habit or the wounds pose a threat to life, it is better to consult a psychologist without delay. It is especially important to do this in the case when a teenager closes in on himself, begins to study poorly, feels constant drowsiness, loses his appetite - such symptoms may be a sign of more serious psychological problems.

The child will begin to obey if the parents change their behavior

The child is capricious or withdraws into himself ... We do not notice the connection between our behavior and the behavior of the child. But it exists. And it can be used for good. Psychologist Galina Itskovich explains how to do it.

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Cut yourself a disease

After a hard day at work, Elena wanted only one thing: to sit on the sofa, turn on the TV and relax. But when she entered the kitchen, she realized that this would not happen. Her fourteen-year-old daughter Karina stood in front of the sink. The daughter's hands were covered in blood.

On the table, among the bloody towels, lay a small blade. Elena stood in front of her daughter and could not believe what she was seeing. What pushes people to hurt themselves and how to help them? Psychologist Olga Silina talks about this.

Self-inflicted violence is the intentional infliction of pain on oneself without the idea of ​​suicide. Usually such people pull out their hair, open wounds, break bones, pierce the body with a nail, etc. This phenomenon is very common. About 1% of the population intentionally hurt themselves.

The explanations for this phenomenon are many and varied. However, most people do it to cope with a difficult situation and make life more bearable. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to cure such people. However, you can help them.

But keep in mind that if the person you want to help doesn't want to, then nothing can be done. The first step is to accept the fact that self-inflicted violence exists and is common. And if you encounter such a problem, do not pretend that nothing is happening. Talk to this person.

By openly discussing this problem, you show him that his problem is important, that you are not afraid to talk to him. Don't think you have nothing to say. Even simply explaining that you understand his problem and don’t know where to start the conversation will already help you find a common language with this person.

Talking is a way to get support. In a conversation, you need to give support to another. You can just ask how you can help him. During a conversation, you should speak in a calm, friendly tone. Let go of all negative thoughts at this moment.

Don't think about judgment, because people who hurt themselves are very sensitive. They can immediately understand whether you are with them or not. They feel insincerity and falseness. A person who hurts himself will not do it in front of others. Therefore, the more time you spend with such people, the less likely they will torture themselves.

Many people who hurt themselves cannot openly state it as a problem. Therefore, the friendlier you are, the more open you declare that you are going to help them, the more likely it will work out.

You need to clearly establish boundaries between you and these people. The fact is that they may need your help at any time of the day. And if you are not ready to take on such responsibility, immediately specify the time when you can be contacted.

Trust me, this is much more prudent than when they need help, you will either be busy or not be able to talk to them. Don't interfere when your friend starts hurting himself. Give him a choice.

When he has the right to hurt himself or not, there is a much greater chance that he will not do it. When you forbid your friend from hurting himself, he does it in defiance. Since such violence is used as an attempt to reduce emotional stress, this choice is important for a person.

Trauma makes them feel shame, humiliation, guilt, loneliness. But at the same time, it is recognized that people who hurt themselves are trying to survive. And you should remember this. Of course, it is very difficult to see a person hurting himself, but you should not forbid it to him, you should not shout, talk about the harm of self-inflicted violence.

Remember that you are trying to help him, not hurt him. Open wounds are a direct expression of emotional pain. One of the reasons for violence is that when a person hurts himself, he transforms the internal pain into an external, treatable one. Wounds become a symbol of suffering.

It is important to understand that these are not just scratches, but really a psychological problem. However, knowing that someone close to you is hurting themselves can cause depression or stress. Therefore, it is better for you to immediately contact a psychotherapist who will not only explain to you the reasons for such violence, but also tell you how you can help.

Sometimes it is really very difficult to ask for help, but understand that it is necessary. Remember that you cannot help anyone while you yourself are in an emotional crisis.

Autoaggression

Auto-aggression or self-harm helps to express feelings that a person is not able to convey in words, move away from his own life, or release emotional pain through physical means. This may provide relief, but only for a short time.

Then the painful sensations return again, and the person again feels the need to injure himself. If you want to break out of this vicious circle, but don't know how to do it, you need to remember this: You deserve to feel better, and this can be achieved without harming yourself.

What is autoaggression?

Self-harm is a physical way to deal with stressful experiences and deep emotional pain. It may sound counterintuitive, but some people try to avoid emotional pain through physical suffering. In such cases, there is a feeling of hopelessness, and self-mutilation becomes the only way to cope with such painful sensations as sadness, emptiness, self-hatred, guilt and rage.

The problem is that this relief does not last long. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound if you need stitches. For a while, the bleeding will stop, but this will not eliminate the cause itself. It also leads to new problems.

Most people who injure themselves physically try to hide the fact from outsiders. Perhaps this is due to shame or fear of being misunderstood. However, by hiding who you are and what you really feel, you doom yourself to even greater suffering associated with isolation from society and the outside world. Ultimately, secretiveness and guilt affect your relationships with family and friends, as well as how you perceive yourself. This causes even greater feelings of loneliness, helplessness and hopelessness.

Myths and facts about auto-aggression

Often such topics are taboo for discussion, so people do not understand the motives and reasons why a person inflicts physical harm on himself. Don't let myths get in the way of helping those you care about.

Myth: People who cut themselves and cause other physical harm are just trying to draw attention to themselves.

Fact: The sad truth is that people who physically harm themselves usually do it in secret. They don't try to manipulate others or get attention. In fact, fear or shame prevents them from seeking help.

Myth: Such people are insane and/or dangerous to others.

Fact: It is true that many people who intentionally harm themselves suffer from depression, constant anxiety, or experience the effects of serious psychological trauma - as do millions of other people who do not harm themselves. Self-harm is their way of dealing with problems. Calling them crazy or dangerous is not correct, and it is unlikely to help.

Myth: People who self-mutilate tend to die.

Fact: Such people often do not want to die. When inflicting physical injury on themselves, they do not seek to commit suicide - in this case, the principle of substitution applies: it is easier for a person suffering from auto-aggression to cope with physical pain than emotional pain - self-harm helps them survive. However, in the longer term, people who engage in self-harm when problems escalate are more likely to commit suicide.

Myth: If the cuts are not very deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Fact: The severity of cuts says almost nothing about the pain a person is experiencing. Do not think that if the cuts are not deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Symptoms of auto-aggression

Auto-aggression involves the intentional infliction of any physical harm to oneself. Some of the most common ways people inflict physical harm on themselves include:

• cuts or severe scratches on the skin;
• burning yourself;
• beating yourself or hitting your head against hard objects, walls;
• "throwing" one's body against walls or hard objects;
• sticking objects that bring pain to the skin;
• deliberate containment of already existing wounds (combing, tearing);
• swallowing foreign objects.

The desire to harm oneself can also take on less obvious forms, where a person deliberately puts himself at risk of injury, but does not physically harm himself, such as driving while intoxicated or at high speed.

How to recognize auto-aggression?

Since physical injuries can be easily covered with clothes, and psychological experiences can be “hidden” behind calm and measured behavior, it is very difficult to identify auto-aggression. However, there are warning signs to watch out for:

• Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, burns, often on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest.
• Blood stains on clothes, towels or bedding, wipes with blood.
• Sharp objects or cutting tools such as razors, knives, needles, broken glass or bottle caps among the person's belongings.
• Frequent "accidents". Often people who inflict physical injuries on themselves speak of their own clumsiness or inaccuracy in trying to explain the appearance of new signs of mutilation.
• Trying to put on more clothes. Such people tend to wear long sleeves or long pants even in very hot weather.
• Desire to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom.
• Isolation and irritability.

How does self-harm help?

People who inflict self-injury explain their needs for auto-aggression and feelings of the field of committing an act of self-injury as follows:

• “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I cannot bear. This allows me to get rid of painful internal sensations.
• "It's a way to control my body since I can no longer control anything else in my life."
• “I feel a huge black emptiness in the middle of myself, it’s better to feel pain than not to feel anything at all”
• “After cutting myself, I feel calm and relieved. Emotional pain slowly outweighs physical pain.”

Reasons for a person to physically harm themselves may include:

• Expression of feelings that cannot be expressed in words.
• Releasing the pain and tension that is felt inside.
• A way to feel in control of a situation.
• A way to distract yourself from overwhelming emotions or difficult life circumstances.
• A way to alleviate guilt and punish yourself.
• A way to feel alive, or to feel at least something instead of emptiness.

Once you understand the reason for your own auto-aggression, you can find ways to help get rid of it, find other opportunities and / or strength in yourself to survive emotional pain and emptiness.

Why is self-aggression dangerous?

• Despite the fact that self-aggression provides temporary relief, everything has its price - frequent injuries increase the risk of dangerous infections and the development of incurable diseases.
• The feeling of relief is very brief and is followed by an even deeper sense of shame and self-loathing.
• Auto-aggression does not allow you to look for other ways to cope with the current situation.
• If you do not learn to cope with emotional pain, it can lead to drug addiction, alcoholism or suicide in the future.
• Self-harm can become an addiction. Very often, this turns into a compulsive behavior that seems unstoppable.

Remember, self-harm does not allow you to get rid of or solve the problems that led you to this in the first place, but only temporarily alleviate emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain!

Treatment of autoaggression

Below is a list of effective ways to cope with self-aggression on your own, with the help of loved ones or by contacting a specialist.

If you have already realized that you have a problem and are ready to treat auto-aggression, the first step is to find a person you can trust. It will be scary to start a conversation, but in the end, you will feel a huge relief from sharing your feelings with someone.

Most likely, such a person can be a close friend or relative. Sometimes, it is much easier to talk to an adult who you respect—for example, a teacher, mentor, or acquaintance—who is distant from your situation and perceives it from a different, more positive and constructive point of view.

Tips for starting a conversation about it:

• Concentrate on your feelings. Focus on what makes you wear injuries.
• Communicate the way you feel comfortable. If you are uncomfortable talking about a problem face to face, try to avoid direct contact with the person, limit your communication to e-mail or online chat.
• Give the person time to process the information. In the same way that it can be difficult for people to open up, it can be difficult for people to process and accept information that is being presented to them, especially if the person is a close relative or friend.

Determine the cause of the problem

Understanding why a person does this is the first step on the road to recovery. If you identify the reason why you physically harm yourself, you can find new ways to cope with your feelings - which in turn will reduce the desire to harm yourself.

Find your effective ways to solve problems

If you are doing this to express pain and overwhelming emotions:

• Try to express it in a picture
• Describe your experiences in a personal diary
• Write a song or verse that expresses your feelings
• Write about all the negative emotions and then rip this sheet.
• Listen to music that suits your mood

If you are doing this to calm down:

• Take a bath or shower
• Pet or play with your pet
• Wrap yourself up in a warm blanket
• Massage your neck, hands or feet
• Listen to soothing music

If the cause is a feeling of emptiness:

• Call a friend (it is not necessary to tell him that you are harming yourself physically)
• Take a cold shower
• Place an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
• Chew on something with a spicy flavor, like chili or grapefruit
• Go to the site or chat and chat with someone you don't know

If the reason is a desire to express anger:

• Take up physical exercises - dancing, running, jumping, etc.
• Try hitting a pillow or mattress, or screaming into it.
• Squeeze a rubber toy in your hand
• Tear something (a piece of paper or a magazine)
• Make some noise (play an instrument loudly or hit pots)

What is the name of a mental disorder when a person ...

Yes, otherwise. Unconsciously - with schizophrenia. Consciously - perhaps with a manic-depressive psychosis. According to Kretschmer, one state excludes the other.

I put it inaccurately - rather than a "mental disorder", but simply a phenomenon that accompanies such disorders as a symptom or a possible manifestation, or an independent one.

there was an article somewhere that went into detail about the motives for selfdestruction.

a person can be completely normal .. just in this way he copes with emotions that are too strong

self harm

Self-harm (eng. Self-injury, self-harm) is the intentional infliction of various bodily injuries by a person to himself, which are visible for more than a few minutes, usually with an auto-aggressive purpose.

Self-harm comes in many forms. As for serious self-harm (Major self-mutilation - removal of one's eye, castration, amputation of a limb, this rarely happens and is most often a concomitant sign of psychosis (acute psychotic episode, schizophrenia, manic syndrome, depression), acute alcohol or drug intoxication, transsexualism Patients' explanations for this behavior are usually religious and/or sexual in nature, such as a desire to be a woman or adherence to biblical texts regarding gouging out a sinner's eye, cutting off a criminal's hand, or castration for the glory of God.

Stereotypical self-mutilation is monotonously repeated and sometimes rhythmic actions, for example, when a person beats his head, beats his hands and feet, bites himself. It is usually impossible to recognize the symbolic meaning or any meaningfulness in such behavior. It most often occurs in people with moderate to severe developmental delay, as well as in autism and Tourette's syndrome.

The most common type of self-harm, found throughout the world and in all walks of life, is household self-harm (superficial, moderate self-harm - superficial/moderate). Usually begins during adolescence and includes activities such as hair pulling, skin scratching, nail biting, which are classified as compulsive subtypes, skin cutting, cutting, burning, sticking needles, breaking bones, and preventing wound healing, which are episodic and repetitive subtypes. Recurrent cutting and burning of the skin are the most common types of self-harming behavior and may be symptoms or accompanying signs of a number of psychiatric disorders, such as borderline, facial and antisocial personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociative disorders, and eating disorders.

There are many myths about self-harm. It is completely incomprehensible to an outsider why something should be done with oneself, because it hurts and traces may remain. It is strange and incomprehensible why this should be done consciously and voluntarily. Someone is simply scared, others immediately have ideas about abnormality, about some kind of terrible complexes, masochism, etc. Part immediately gives out ready-made pseudo-psychological explanations, which in most cases fall completely by. It is often said that:

"This is a failed suicide attempt."

No, it's completely optional. Of course, among people who injure themselves, the number of suicide attempts is higher. But even those who make such attempts still share when they are trying to die and when they are trying to hurt themselves or do something similar. And many, on the contrary, never seriously thought about suicide.

"People are trying so hard to get attention."

Naturally, many who injure themselves lack attention, love, and the kindness of friends. As well as others. But this does not mean that they are trying to attract attention with their actions. Usually, in order to attract attention, people dress brightly, try to be polite and helpful, wave their hands, speak loudly, after all. But it's strange to try to attract attention without anyone knowing about it. And the consequences of self-harm are usually hidden in every possible way - they wear long-sleeved clothes, cause damage where no one sees, talk about cats, etc. Often, even close people are not aware of it.

"They are trying to manipulate others."

Yes, sometimes it is like this: it happens that this is an attempt to influence the behavior of parents or acquaintances, but most do not do such things. Again, if no one knows, it is very difficult to manipulate anyone. Self-harm is often not about others, it's about yourself. But sometimes a person, resorting to inflicting damage, is actually trying to say something, this is his cry for help, but he is not heard and is regarded as an attempt to manipulate.

"Those who harm themselves are psychos and they should be sent to a psychiatric hospital accordingly. And they can also be dangerous to society."

First, self-harm is very personal. Often no one except the person himself knows about this. Or only very close friends (or "like-minded people") know. The goal itself is an attempt to cope with your feelings, emotions, pain. And other people don't have anything to do with it. As for "nuts" - yes, sometimes people with mental disorders (like post-traumatic stress disorder or borderline personality disorder) inflict damage on themselves. Psychological problems do not mean immediate mental illness, much less a hospital.

"If the wound is shallow, then everything is not serious."

There is almost no connection between the severity of damage and the level of mental stress. Different people inflict different damage on themselves, in different ways, they have different pain thresholds, etc. You can't compare.

"It's all about teenage girls."

Not only. The problem is just completely different ages. Moreover, there is more and more data on the percentage of women-men. if earlier it was believed that there were significantly more women, now the ratio is almost evened out.

It is known%3A one pain can be drowned out by another. Does it need to be done? - a question another.

Self harm is the way. A way to fight and partially cope with pain, with too strong emotions, with painful memories and thoughts, with obsessive states. Yes, this is a crooked and stupid way, but not everyone has been taught something more reasonable! Sometimes it is an attempt to cope with too strong emotions, to ease the pain and feel the reality. Physical pain distracts from mental pain and brings you back to reality. Of course, this is not a serious solution, it does not solve all problems, but for a person it works. Often this is an attempt to express something, to splash out, to convey to someone (perhaps for oneself) those feelings that are not clothed in words; this is some not very standard way of talking and telling. And sometime it is an attempt to control oneself, one's emotions and body, namely, punishing oneself with magical logic: "If I do something bad with myself, what I fear will not happen."

And what to do? If the problem of self-harm is your problem, then, of course, you can continue to pull out your hair and bite yourself, or you can set yourself the task of "learning to solve life problems smartly." Yes, you need to learn how to build relationships and learn how to communicate; you need to learn to relax and express your feelings in an acceptable way; yes, no one promises you results right away and an easy life in general, but - but if you decide to solve your issues, you can handle it. I wish you success!

self harm

Self-harm is the intentional infliction of bodily harm to oneself, which is due to internal psychological problems and is not associated with the intention to commit suicide.

The reasons

There are three types of self-torture: serious, stereotypical and moderate.

Serious self-harm is the removal of organs or parts of the body (eyes, ears, limbs, genitals). It is very rare and in most cases has a certain symbolic meaning. Its main reasons are:

• schizophrenia;
• manic syndrome;
• deep depression;
• transsexualism;
• acute drug or alcohol intoxication.

Stereotypical self-harm - rhythmic monotonous actions that harm a person (hitting the head against the wall, biting). It is typical for people with developmental delay, autism and Tourette's syndrome.

Moderate self-harm is manifested in the form of superficial injury to one's own body (cuts, scratches, hair pulling). They are engaged in about 4% of the population. Most of them are teenagers (mostly girls). In addition, a tendency to self-harm is observed among:

• war veterans;
• prisoners;
• homosexuals;
• pupils of boarding schools;
• people who were abused as children.

The main causes of moderate self-harm are various emotional problems: mental pain, inner emptiness, guilt, the desire to attract attention to yourself. In addition, self-harm can be a consequence of taking psychoactive substances or one of the manifestations of mental dysfunctions:

• borderline personality disorder;
• post-traumatic syndrome;
• antisocial disorder;
• depression;
• bipolar affective disorder;
• eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia) and so on.

Pathogenesis

There are three main theories that explain why self-harm becomes a repetitive behavior:

According to the serotonin theory, some people produce insufficient levels of serotonin in their bodies, so they are less able to cope with stressful situations. When applying autodamages, the synthesis of this hormone is activated, and a person feels better.

The opiate theory is as follows. Injury triggers the brain's anti-pain system: natural painkillers - opiates - begin to be produced. They dull the discomfort and cause euphoria. The result is an addiction that causes the person to repeat the self-harm.

Cortisol is a hormone that is synthesized during stressful moments and triggers a cascade of reactions that help protect the body from external aggressive factors. But for some people, the opposite happens - in problem situations, the level of cortisol decreases. They deliberately hurt themselves in order to change the hormonal background and cope with difficulties.

Psychological mechanisms of self-harm:

• replacement of pain - physical discomfort leads to a dulling of emotional suffering;
• increased sensations - pain helps to fill the inner void, and also proves to the patient that he is still alive;
• self-punishment - excessive demands of others or real misconduct make a person punish himself.

Sometimes teenagers try to get the attention of their parents or friends by causing damage. A feature of this situation is the demonstrativeness of injuries, while in other cases people carefully hide the traces of self-mutilation.

Symptoms

Self-harm in adolescents can manifest itself in such forms as:

• skin cuts with sharp objects;
• self-scratching of the skin;
• burns;
• preventing wound healing;
• infringement of body parts;
• hair pulling;
• breaking bones;
• needle sticking.

In addition, many experts attribute self-harm to the use of toxic substances, overeating and starvation.

The most commonly injured are the arms, legs and front of the torso. A person can use several methods of inflicting damage. Self-harm is any situation that causes anxiety or tension. As a rule, people torture themselves alone. On rare occasions, teenagers do this in small groups.

The main sign of skin self-damage is the presence of traces (cuts, bruises, scars, burns). Usually a person hides them under clothes or explains them with careless behavior. He often carries sharp objects with him.

As a rule, the disorder is accompanied by other symptoms, including:

• difficulties in establishing interpersonal relationships;
• tendency to reflection;
• impulsivity, anxiety, behavioral instability;
• dissatisfaction with life and so on.

Diagnostics

Having found signs of self-harm with sharp objects in a teenager, it is necessary to consult a psychologist. During the conversation, the doctor will conduct a survey and establish the causes of auto-aggressive behavior. If necessary, he will refer the patient to a psychiatrist for a clinical diagnosis.

In addition, an examination by a dermatologist, traumatologist or therapist may be required to determine the nature and severity of the damage.

Treatment

How to get rid of the tendency to self-harm? First of all, it is necessary that the patient recognizes the problem, and also finds out its causes together with the psychologist. Often a teenager cannot explain why he hurts himself. To find out the underlying prerequisites for auto-aggressive behavior is obtained only with the help of psychoanalysis.

The self-harm treatment algorithm is selected individually. It may include one or more areas of psychotherapy:

• cognitive behavioral therapy;
• dialectical behavior therapy;
• techniques, the purpose of which is the development of inner awareness.

Medicines can be used - antidepressants, tranquilizers, antipsychotics, and so on. Their intake must be supervised by a doctor.

In order to effectively deal with self-harm, the patient needs to adjust their behavior. Experts recommend gradually replacing the habit of cutting or scratching yourself in anxious situations with less traumatic actions. For example, put on an elastic band around your wrist and pull it when you want to injure yourself. Other substitution options are screaming, punching bag punching, paper tearing

In addition, the patient should be distracted from obsessive thoughts through physical exercise, walking, dancing, music, and so on. If a person suffers from inner emptiness, a cold shower can be used as an enhancer of sensations.

Self-harm in adolescents requires the involvement of the whole family. It is necessary to support the child and discuss his feelings with him.

Forecast

Possible consequences of self-harm in adolescence:

• consolidation of a behavioral scheme based on the use of auto-aggression instead of constructive decisions in difficult life situations;
• wound infection;
• the formation of scars and mutilations;
• causing life-threatening injuries.

Competent psychotherapeutic help allows you to correct behavior and eliminate the tendency to self-harm.

Prevention

Prevention of self-harm consists in the timely solution of psychological problems and the treatment of behavioral disorders.

What kind of disease is when a person cuts himself? and more details please. it's very interesting

Some people who cut themselves do it to experience pain, some just to see the blood.

By definition and observations, this disease never leads to suicide, that is, people are limited to "self-mutilation" without a fatal outcome.

Interestingly, this disease is less common among men than among women.

Very often people who do this feel lonely. As a result, they want people to pay more attention to them, and self-inflicted bodily harm is one way to get attention.

Very often this disease is periodic, after a certain period of inflicting bodily harm on oneself, a person calms down, but the disease does not disappear, but takes on a different form. For example "Bulimia", "Anorexia" or manic-depressive state.

Unfortunately, for people with this disease, self-injury is the main way to solve life's problems.

Of course, to get rid of this problem, you need the help of a qualified specialist.

But the first thing a person should do is to stop being ashamed of this disease, to understand that he is not the only one and this is to be treated.

It turns out that about 0.75% of the world's population suffer from this deviation to one degree or another.

Self-mutilation: harming oneself

Self-mutilation is when someone intentionally and repeatedly harms themselves with cutting objects, fire, hands. Also, people with this disorder may drink things that are harmful, such as bleach or detergent.

It is estimated that about two million people in the US hurt themselves in some way. Adolescents and young adult women are more likely to be affected than young adults.

Often, people say that they are trying to express emotional pain or feelings that they cannot express in words.

It can be like having control over your body when you can't control anything else in your life.

Although people generally do not attempt to kill themselves, sometimes they are unable to control their injuries and may die by accident.

How can I help a friend

Ask about it. If your friend is suffering, he may be glad you bring it up.

Offer options for a way out of the situation, but do not tell him what he should do.

Contact Support. Tell an adult you trust. This person can help your friend. You may feel that you have no right to tell anyone else. But remember, you can talk to mental health professionals about how the situation is affecting you, or you can get more information and advice from any number of organizations.

Remember, you are not responsible for stopping self-destruction. You can't get your friend to stop hurting himself or get help from a professional. He must want to help himself.

How can I help myself?

Know that you can help yourself. Treatment is available for people who have a tendency to self-harm. To learn about treatments, try talking to a professional person, such as a psychologist.

Understand that you are not alone. Many people suffer from the desire to harm themselves.

Get help. Now is the best time to deal with this problem.

Self-mutilation is the intentional, non-single, impulsive, non-lethal infliction of harm on oneself.

Self-mutilation includes:

1) use of cutting objects, 2) scratches, 3) a person can interfere with the healing of existing wounds, 4) burns with his own hands, 5) hitting himself 6) specially infecting himself, 7) inserting objects into body openings, 8) bruises and fractures, 9) other various forms of bodily injury.

These behaviors pose a serious danger, may be symptoms of a mental disorder that can be treated.

Signs that someone is hurting themselves include: frequent unexplained injuries including cuts and burns, the person may wear long trousers and long sleeves in warm weather, low self-esteem, difficulty processing feelings, relationship problems, and poor functioning at work, school, or at home.

Models and causes of behavior.

Many self-harm using multiple methods. Cuts on the legs or arms are the most common practice.

Reasons for behavior. Self-harming people often report feeling empty inside, unable to express their feelings, lonely, misunderstood by others. They are afraid of intimate relationships and adult responsibilities.

Self-harm is their way of coping or alleviating painful experiences, expressing their feelings, and is generally not a suicide attempt.

The diagnosis for those who self-harm can be determined by a psychotherapist. Self-harm can be one of the symptoms of some mental illnesses: personality disorders (especially borderline personality disorder); bipolar disorder (manic depression); clinical depression, anxiety disorders, and symptoms of psychoses such as schizophrenia.

Self-mutilation treatment

Treatment options include outpatient treatment, partial hospitalization. The most commonly used treatments for self-harm are a combination of medications, cognitive and behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and other forms of treatment.

Medication is often helpful in managing depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Cognitive and behavioral therapy helps people understand and manage their destructive thoughts and behaviors. Interpersonal therapy assists individuals in gaining understanding and developing relationship skills.

Self-harm: why teenagers harm themselves

Some teenagers self-harm. For others, such behavior is stupidity, foolishness, or "a cheap way to attract attention." Families usually try to hide this fact, regarding it as a shame and a defect in their upbringing. However, this problem is much more complex and broader than it seems at first glance.

When children reach adolescence, parents face a whole host of behavioral problems. As you know, all children are different, and especially their difference becomes visible during this period. Someone goes through this stage of growing up easier, someone has difficulties. Of course, parents are primarily afraid now that their son or daughter will be involved in some kind of criminal activity, or that he or she will become addicted to alcohol, drugs, turn into a gamer. This, of course, is terrible, but, nevertheless, this is not all.

This phenomenon is not much talked about. For others, such behavior is stupidity, foolishness, or "a cheap way to attract attention." Families usually try to hide this fact, regarding it as a shame and a defect in their upbringing. However, this problem is much more complex and broader than it seems at first glance.

Self-harm refers to a wide range of different types of harmful effects on oneself. And although, in principle, smoking can also be attributed to self-harm, the term primarily refers to the application of various kinds of injuries and bruises. And the most important thing in this case is the absence of suicidal intentions. That is, the teenager injures himself, but does not want to kill.

In total, 1-4% of the population is engaged in self-harm in the population. The vast majority of them are teenagers, but there are also adults. Of course, there are those who harm themselves in some way only once in their entire lives. However, for some people, this behavior becomes habitual.

Usually self-inflicted damage for 2 main reasons. The teen either has too many emotions that they can't handle and the pain of self-harm gives them an outlet. Either there are no emotions at all, he feels insensitive and inflicting a wound or bruise on himself gives him the opportunity to feel alive. Be that as it may, after hurting himself, a teenager feels not only relief, but also euphoria. Some say that pain and flowing blood cause very pleasant experiences, interrupting those negative emotions that tormented before the act of self-harm.

There are 3 main theories that explain why this behavior can be repeated:

1. Serotonin - some people have an insufficient level of serotonin in the brain and, therefore, they cope worse with stressful situations. Pain causes a rise in serotonin and improves overall well-being.

2. Opiate - during the infliction of a wound or bruise, the analgesic system of the brain (antinociceptive) begins to act. Opiates produced in the brain are our main natural pain reliever. Thanks to them, severe pain can be “blunted. In addition, these substances can cause euphoria. A person who regularly injures himself may become addicted to these effects and repeat them over and over again.

3. Cortisol - Cortisol is a stress hormone. In order for the body to cope with the harmful effects of the environment, this hormone must reach a certain level and involve other body systems in a “stress cascade”. Thanks to him, every link and every organ begins to work in a “stress mode” protecting us from harmful substances from the outside.

External causes of self-harm can be:

1. Dysfunctional family (divorce or the situation “we will live together only for the sake of children”)

2. Perfectionism of a teenager and his environment. If you did not do everything perfectly, you are worthy of punishment and there is no forgiveness for you.

3. Influence of friends. There are situations when friends give a model of behavior in difficult life cases.

4. Experienced sexual abuse.

5. Information in the media when self-harm is presented as a solution to the problem. “The boy cut his veins, and immediately everyone around realized that they were wrong”

In general, there are 3 types of self-harm:

1. Impulsive - when a teenager harms himself under the influence of a strong influx of emotions. This happens automatically, without thinking and without even maturing the intention to do it.

2. Stereotypical - monotonous application of most often bruises. Such self-harm is often characteristic of persons with mental retardation and those who suffer from autism of varying degrees of severity.

3. Compulsive - happening under the influence of obsessive thoughts.

In addition, according to the severity of self-harm can be:

1. Severe - life threatening.

2. Moderate - requiring medical intervention and treatment.

3. Mild - those that do not require medical intervention or those that require a minimum amount of assistance.

Why does a teenager need help, even if he is not mentally ill?

1. Some people may become addicted to this behavior given the involvement of endogenous opiates in the process. Accordingly, self-harm can be used for pleasure.

2. Formation of the habit of solving problems through self-aggression. Needless to say, people around get scared and become more accommodating.

3. The formation of a behavioral scheme that is included in all life activities and self-aggression becomes an ordinary routine.

4. Self-harm becomes a way to respond to stress. Those. It's easier to hurt yourself than to constructively solve something.

Despite the fact that it may seem that a teenager is doing all this on purpose, he really often finds it difficult to say why he cut himself or did something like that. At the moment of an attack on one's body, consciousness can narrow and the awareness of behavior can drop significantly.

Some adolescents commit aggressive actions towards themselves in a really defiant way. If we talk about self-cutting in such cases, then they are usually thin and superficial. It is evident that the man spared himself. They are often done in prominent places, but never on the face or hands. At the same time, attention is drawn to the behavior in which a teenager seeks to arouse pity and guilt in those around him, tries to openly manipulate, threatens to hurt himself something again if others behave the way he does not like.

There is an opinion among the people that one should not pay attention to such manipulators and provocateurs. However, a teenager does this not to annoy his parents, but also because of personal problems. This means that he does not cope with his life's difficulties in a different way. Often, parents with such a child begin to play a game of who is stronger in will and character, and the child, in an attempt to prove that his threats are not empty, but real, causes significant harm to himself or commits an involuntary suicide. Those. death is not planned as such, it just happens.

More often, there is no demonstrativeness in self-harm. Teenagers hide the scars from self-cutting, they are embarrassed to talk about them. Even if the damage is familiar, an area is still selected that is not very visible to outsiders and can easily be hidden under clothing.

If a teenager has injured himself or caused any other damage, especially if this has happened more than once, parents should pay close attention to this. No need to wait for "everything will pass by itself" and "grow". Even if one of the parents himself cut his veins or hit his head against the walls at a young age, and everything went away for him, it does not mean that everything will work out with the child too. Even if things get better with time, self-cutting scars can be a stigma for the rest of your life.

If this happens, it is advisable for the child to consult a psychiatrist. If someone is afraid of registration, you can contact a private doctor. This is necessary to resolve the issue of whether the child has a mental illness or is it a violation of adaptation or problems in his life that he cannot solve. Depending on what the doctor finds, it will be possible to decide how much help is needed.

And all this will work pretty poorly if the teenager does not have the support of the family. If he is looked upon as a traitor and a lunatic who cannot be trusted. Perhaps parents themselves will need to look at themselves from the outside and take steps towards changes within the family.

Everyone deals with feelings differently. Some may open up and talk to loved ones about their feelings. Others need to be distracted - read, watch a movie or just take a walk. These are healthy ways to deal with negativity. But for some, the only way to deal with emotions is to hurt themselves.

Self-harm is the deliberate self-harm and pain caused by the need to cope with strong emotions (such as anger, anxiety, or sadness). At the same time, self-harm rarely helps to feel better - all because of the guilt and shame that appear immediately after inflicting damage.

Signs and symptoms of selfharm

Usually, self-harm makes a person very secretive: he hides marks and scars so that they are difficult to detect. Most often, self-harm is an impulsive act, but sometimes methodical planning also leads to it. It most commonly occurs in people who have to cope with depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder.

The most common signs that a person may be a victim of self-harm are:
- Scars from cuts or burns that the person cannot explain

hair pulling

Pinch marks on the skin

Bruises and abrasions

fractures

bite marks

Explanation of constant bruising and cuts by clumsiness

Out-of-season clothing such as long-sleeved trousers and shirts during the summer

Low self-esteem

Difficulty expressing and dealing with emotions

Causes of self-prevention

There are various reasons why people harm themselves, but most often it acts as a strategy for coping with strong emotions. This gives temporary relief and reduces anxiety, but this relief does not last long. Some people feel "numb" and try to regain some sensitivity in this way. Self-harm often acts as a punishment for far-fetched shortcomings or out of self-hatred.

Certain factors increase the risk of self-harm. For example, close family self-harm, childhood abuse (especially sexual abuse), stressful or traumatic life events, alcohol or drug abuse, impulsiveness, poor coping skills, and being self-critical. Self-harm is also directly linked to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, and borderline personality disorder.

Although self-harm is not usually associated with suicide, victims of self-harm are more likely to be suicidal due to association with other emotional issues. Self-harm and related disorders are treatable, so if you or someone close to you is experiencing this, it's important to start looking for a solution as soon as possible.

How to deal with the urge to hurt yourself

We often hear about self-harm in the form of cuts in movies and TV shows, but this is not the only type of self-harm. It can manifest itself in the form of intentional burns or self-inflicted blows. This may seem like the only activity that will help you feel better.

Fortunately, there are much healthier ways to cope. If you or someone you know has experienced self-harm, you should refer to this list to find a more effective way to deal with emotional problems.

- Consultation with a psychotherapist. The best way to learn how to deal with emotions is to get the help of a professional. Therapy helps fight self-destructive behavior, process and express emotions, and feel better. Many times people who suffer from self-harm deal with depression or an anxiety disorder. If you seek help, be honest with your therapist, attend all appointments, and stick to your treatment plan.

- Explore the causes of self-harm. By learning why you are hurting yourself and what purpose you are pursuing with these actions, you will be able to combat this behavior. Think about why you started hurting yourself. What makes you want to hurt yourself? How do you feel right before you deal damage? Is it always the same emotion? What do you do before you hurt yourself? This is important information for communicating with a therapist or mental health professional. Keeping a journal will help you answer these questions and be a positive way to deal with your emotions.

- Choose "healthy" actions. Often, if people manage to delay self-harm, the urge to harm themselves goes away. Choose healthy activities that you enjoy and that make you feel better. It can be physical exercises, communication with loved ones, walks or a favorite hobby. When you feel the urge to harm yourself, immediately turn to one of the healthy alternatives.

- Assemble the “comfort box”. Put together a list of things to do to help you deal with your emotions, as well as things to calm and distract you, such as your favorite movie, a few good books, art supplies, and your diary. Whenever you feel the urge to self-harm, open the box and choose a useful option.

- Avoid anything that "inspires" you to self-harm. This may mean turning down some sites or stopping contact with people who "glorify" the idea of ​​self-harm.

self harm refers to one of the taboo problems in society, which are not customary to speak out loud. Society condemns such behavior in every possible way and absolutely does not want to even hear about its causes. For others, the behavior of people torturing their bodies is stupid, infantile, problematic. It is believed that in such a "cheap" way they are trying to attract attention. In other cases, it is common to think that self-harm is a consequence of drug or alcohol addiction. But is it really so?

What it is?

Many people think that self-harm is typical mainly for teenagers of the last decades. Probably due to information overload and a lot of violence from TV screens. But this is not entirely true; even in ancient times, different ways of torturing one's own body were known. This was mainly characteristic of religious fanatics, who believed that the suffering of the body purifies the soul. After all, in a sense, physical pain can really dampen mental pain for a while. Yes, and in literature they often romanticize the image of a passionless person who has lost the meaning of life, who wants to feel at least something again, and then in desperation he inflicts physical damage on himself. But what is it really, where do such thoughts and aspirations come from?

In fact, self-harm is the infliction of deliberate damage to one's body for some internal reason, but without suicidal intent. It occurs as a symptom of some mental disorders. Such disorders can be borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, bulimia, anorexia, etc. But self-harm can also occur in people without a clinical diagnosis. However, it is often associated with mental health problems, depression, anxiety.

The most common types of self-harm:
cuts on the wrists, thighs and palms;
severe scratching of the skin, to blood;
cauterization;
hitting your head against a wall or throwing your body against hard surfaces and objects;
pinching of body parts;
squeezing the head, self-suffocation;
intentionally preventing the healing of scratches and other wounds, their regular opening;
piercing the skin with needles and other piercing objects;
swallowing inedible objects.

There are 3 types of self-harm:

1. impulsive- when a person, most often a teenager, experiences a strong influx of emotions and, under their influence, inflicts damage on himself. This happens unexpectedly, without the desire and intention to do it, automatically, thoughtlessly.

2. stereotypical. Most often, people with a stereotypical type of self-harm inflict bruises on themselves. This rhythmic, monotonous self-harm is most common in people with developmental delays and autism of varying degrees of severity.

3. moderate or compulsive- when a person causes physical harm to himself under the influence of obsessive thoughts. It can be present in people of any age.

What is the reason?

There are 2 theories related to physiology that explain why this behavior can be repeated:

1. Serotonin theory: Some people are less able to cope with stress because they do not have enough serotonin in the brain. In such people, pain improves well-being, because it causes a rise in serotonin.

2. Opiate theory: during injuries or bruises, the anti-pain system of the brain acts. Opiates are produced, they are the main natural painkillers. Thanks to them, the pain is a little dulled, and these substances can also cause euphoria. People who physically harm themselves on a regular basis can become addicted to these effects.

But besides the internal ones, there are also external causes of self-harm. Behind the facade of this behavior are often attempts to cope with emotional discomfort. In fact, absolutely any stressful situation can become a motive to torture your body. Such reasons may be:
intra-family problems (divorce, abuse, neglect, excessive severity of parents, frequent quarrels, tyranny of a husband or wife, etc.);
experience of sexual violence;
feeling of own powerlessness, strong resentment (under the influence of problems that cannot be solved right now and which do not depend on you. In such cases, a person feels the illusion of lost control over the situation and falsely considers self-harm to be a solution).

Why do some teenagers find normal ways to cope with emotional states, while others do not?

Low self-esteem. Adolescents who systematically cut themselves are more likely to have low self-esteem. They do not see anything valuable in themselves, they consider themselves worthless, ugly, incapable of anything, stupid and uninteresting.

high bar, excessive perfectionism. The conditions under which a teenager could relax, rejoice and be pleased with himself are impossible. Exaggerated demands and expectations from family, friends, school, loved one are to blame for this. The environment of fierce competition in which it is located matters. At the same time, the subject of competition can be educational achievements, beauty standards and status in the youth hierarchy. These teenagers have a subconscious belief that everything must be done perfectly. Otherwise, you are worthy of punishment and there is no forgiveness for you.

Emotional Vulnerability. Most of all, those who have coldness in the family are prone to self-harm. A peculiar culture of attitude to emotions leads to such behavior. These adolescents have a low level of emotional competence and great difficulty in understanding their own emotions and expressing them. They grow up with the wrong attitude about emotions. In their families, prohibitions on the expression of resentment, anger, sadness, and the manifestation of weakness reign. They are not accustomed to seek help and emotional support from loved ones.

myths

This topic is shrouded in many myths. It is completely incomprehensible to a healthy person why on earth someone might need to harm themselves, because it hurts and scars can remain. Why deliberately hurt yourself on a regular basis? Some are frightened by this, some immediately have thoughts of abnormality, masochism, etc. People do not even want to delve into this a little, and therefore, in most cases, when discussing the facts of self-harm, they get completely by.

Myth #1: It's a failed suicide attempt.

Not necessarily. There is a clear difference between those who made an unsuccessful suicide attempt and those who did not even think about such an outcome. Someone wants to die, get rid of pain and suffering, while someone, on the contrary, craves this very pain. Most self-harm practitioners have never seriously considered suicide.

Myth #2: It only affects teenage girls.

Not only. This stereotype is completely unfounded. Self-harm is a serious problem of completely different ages, genders and social strata. Moreover, if we talk about the percentage of women-men, it will turn out to be approximately the same.

Myth #3: This is how people try to get attention.

Like many other people, those who injure themselves may lack attention, love, good relations with loved ones and others. But this does not mean that they are trying to attract him to themselves in this way. As a rule, if people do not have enough attention, they can dress brightly, dye their hair in bright colors. They try to stand out either by outrageous behavior, or vice versa, by exceptional politeness and excellent manners. Attempts are expressed at least in loud conversations. But it's completely illogical to try to get someone's attention by doing your best to hide it. And the consequences of self-harm never spread. On the contrary, they hush up and disguise it in every possible way - they wear long-sleeved clothes, inflict damage where no one sees, etc. Usually, even the closest are not told about this.

Myth #4: This is a way to manipulate people around you.

It's very rare, but it does happen from time to time. It happens that by their behavior a person wants to influence the behavior of family, relatives or friends. Sometimes he tries to say something by resorting to damage to his body. In fact, this is his cry for help, but they do not hear him and everyone takes him for a demonstration.
But the vast majority don't do that. At least because it is very difficult to manipulate someone if no one knows about the subject of manipulation.

Myth No. 5: If the wounds are not deep, then everything is not serious.

There is no relationship between the severity of physical injury and the level of mental stress. All people are different, life, problems, pain threshold they have different. And even the way they hurt themselves is different. Therefore, in this case, the comparison is inappropriate.

Myth #6: Those people who harm themselves are deranged psychos. And they need to go to a psychiatric hospital, because they are dangerous to society.

In some cases, people with psychiatric disorders (such as the aforementioned borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder) also cause physical harm to themselves. But this does not pose any danger to the surrounding people and does not require hospitalization.

Self-harm is very personal for a person. This is almost never known to anyone except himself. The main goal is considered to be an attempt to overcome some internal problems, to cope with pain, feelings, emotions. Other people have nothing to do with it.

Some statistics
According to the WHO, About 4% of the world's population engages in self-harm. Most of them are teenagers. Approximately one fifth of people who practice self-harm harm themselves no more than once in their lives. But for other people, this behavior becomes habitual.
Among teenagers who engage in self-harm, 14% do it more than once a week, 20% - several times a month. Some teenagers only go for it under certain stress.(for example, only after a quarrel with parents or a loved one). But for the rest any situation that causes tension or anxiety can serve as an excuse for self-harm.

How to get rid of the desire to cause physical harm to yourself?

A person may feel like they have no choice, and hurting themselves physically is the only way they know how to deal with emotions: heartache, sadness, anger, self-hatred, feelings of emptiness, guilt, etc. But the problem is that relief which brings self-harm does not last long. It's like a band-aid when stitches need to be applied.

Yes, this is a rather difficult psychological problem. She needs special therapy and professional help. But sometimes you can try to deal with this problem yourself. For example, if the desire to harm oneself is not expressed very clearly and has not yet been implemented in practice. Or if it only happened once or twice.

The most important thing is to understand and explain to yourself exactly what you feel. Which of the emotions is the very impulse that pushes you to hurt your own body. This is the basis of healing. It is important not to make mistakes in introspection. Ways to get rid of the desire to harm yourself are different for different emotional feelings and internal problems. Without finding out the cause, the investigation is impossible, it will be impossible to move on.

Methods of psychological assistance

If the patient is not able to independently understand the cause of the problem, he can find it out together with a psychologist. After all, often people, especially teenagers, cannot explain why they hurt themselves. As a result, the prerequisites for such behavior can only be clarified with the help of deep psychoanalysis.

Further, the treatment algorithm is selected individually. Medications such as antidepressants, tranquilizers, etc. can be used in the treatment. Of course, medication is strictly controlled by the doctor. In general, cognitive behavioral therapy is used to effectively deal with self-harm. In order for the patient to correct his behavior, psychotherapists recommend slowly replacing the habit of cutting or burning yourself with other, non-traumatic actions. For example, if there is a desire to hurt yourself, you can train yourself to tear the paper into pieces. Or you can put a rubber band around your wrist and tug on it every time you want to hurt yourself. Other substitution options might be running, hitting a punching bag, screaming into a pillow or in deserted places, etc.

The most effective and beneficial way to distract yourself from intrusive thoughts is to replace them with things you enjoy doing. For example, with the help of physical exercises, dancing, playing musical instruments, clay modeling and so on. In the event that a person harms himself in the hope of experiencing pain or other emotions, a cold shower will help. He will act as an excellent amplifier of sensations.

How to help a teenager who is self-harming

If an adult can still cope with the problem on his own under certain conditions, then for adolescents this requires the participation of the whole family. It is very important to be able to support the child and discuss with him his feelings and emotions. Unfortunately, most families usually try to hide the fact that their children are self-harming. They regard this as their own fiasco as a parent, a shame and defect in their upbringing. Sometimes parents believe that the child's behavior is nothing more than an attempt to manipulate them. Therefore, with such a child, parents begin a competition, a game, who is stronger in will and character. This could end in disaster. After all, a teenager, in an attempt to prove that his threats are not empty, can cause significant harm to himself. Or even commit an involuntary suicide, even if he did not plan death at all.

If parents are afraid for the future of the child and do not want to be registered, you can contact a private doctor. Examination and consultation with a doctor are very important. This is necessary to rule out or diagnose a mental illness in a child. And only depending on the doctor's verdict, it will be possible to determine what kind of help is needed. But if a teenager does not have full family support, any kind and amount of assistance will work quite poorly. He will not be able to cope if his own parents look at him as a madman or a traitor who cannot be trusted. In this case, it is likely that it will be the parents who will need to take steps towards changes within the family. And first of all, they will need to look at themselves from the outside.

What NOT to do for parents of teenagers who practice self-harm

Of course, it is impossible to know and see how your own child inflicts physical pain on himself, and remain cool. When parents encounter this, they get very scared and panic. There are certain things you should never do in situations like this. But most often this is exactly how parents react, feeling fear for the child, shock and confusion.

You can't scold a teenager. All attempts to scold, shame, intimidate him with the consequences of such behavior are doomed to failure. And if you appeal to his sense of guilt and conscience, you can not only not help, but even completely aggravate the situation. For example, a teenager inflicts cuts on himself, trying to cope with feelings of anger, anxiety, guilt. And the parent begins to blame him (“Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw this?”) And scare him (“Ugly scars will remain, you will bring an infection”). All this will only lead to a new round of guilt and anxiety in the tangled tangle of emotions of a teenager. Accordingly, he would again need a way to deal with them. This means that the need for habitual actions that he resorts to when he needs to deal with feelings will increase. It turns out a vicious circle.
Restrictions won't help. Any attempts to deprive a teenager of ways to hurt themselves mostly lead to nothing. And if they do, then what's worse. He may have other ways to relieve emotional stress, much more serious than before.

Trying to cope on my own impractical. It is quite difficult for parents to independently understand how to react in such situations and what to do. In most cases, fear makes them think in the first place that it is their fault, that they are bad parents. That is, in this way they concentrate on their own experiences. While in the first place - the experiences of a teenager. Therefore, it is best to seek help and support from specialists. They may also advise and work with parents separately from the child. This practice will benefit the whole family and help to cope with the problem faster.

It is very bad to gloss over painful situations.. If serious, major traumatic events have occurred in the family, it is important to discuss, to live through this together. Such events can be the loss and illness of loved ones, divorce, disaster, violence, even moving. It is necessary to analyze whether it was enough to talk about it with the child, whether he or the parents themselves experienced it. It is worth analyzing the parent-child relationship to understand if there is trust, openness, acceptance and support in them. Are there any conversations about what is happening in the life of a teenager, about his experiences? Do parents themselves share the events and experiences of their own lives with a teenager?

"I am 14 years old. When scandals at school become unbearable, I take a penknife and try to hurt myself as much as possible. When there is no knife at hand, I stick a ballpoint pen into my skin or scratch myself until I bleed. I don't know why, but when I do that, it makes me feel better. It's like I'm pulling a splinter out of my body. Everything is fine with me?" There are also such disturbing letters from teenagers.

There are also letters from parents: “My daughter is 15 years old. I recently noticed burn marks on her arm. It is not possible to talk about it, she takes every word of mine with hostility and refuses to meet with a psychologist. I feel completely powerless and don't know what to do now."

Blade marks on the forearm, cigarette burns on the body, cut legs - almost 38% of teenagers at least once tried to injure their body. Parents are horrified to realize that their own child is hurting himself. Automatic, at the level of a reflex, the desire to save him from pain is faced with an unusual obstacle - the absence of an enemy and an external threat. And the question remains: "Why did he do it?"

Contact with your body

In maturing children, from about 11–12 years old, desires, interests, behavior change - their inner world becomes different. It is especially difficult for teenagers to adapt to changes in their body. The arms and legs are extended, the gait changes, the plasticity of movements, the voice become different. The body suddenly begins to behave arbitrarily: erotic fantasies and treacherously spontaneous erections in boys; menstruation, often painful, in girls, can also begin at any time - at school, in training.

“The body seems to become something separate,” says family therapist Inna Khamitova. “Hurting yourself is one way to get in touch with him. The behavior of teenagers resembles the gesture of a person who has a terrible dream: he wants to stop him, pinch himself and wake up.

frightening world

At 37, Tatyana clearly remembers the years when she cut her thighs: “I grew up in a family where it was forbidden to complain - my parents did not understand this. As a teenager, I could not find words to express all that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut myself. Now I understand that it was a way not only to deceive adults, but also to console myself: now I know why I feel so bad.

Adolescents, damaging their bodies, experience ... an infantile sense of their own omnipotence

Many modern teenagers, like Tatyana once, find it difficult to express their feelings - they do not know themselves enough, and they are frightened by adults' distrust of their feelings. In addition, many simply do not know how to speak openly and honestly about themselves. Having no other means to relieve mental stress, teenagers force themselves to experience pain.

“In this way they struggle with immeasurably great suffering,” says psychotherapist Elena Vrono, “it’s hard to trust yourself if you are sure that no one understands you, and the world is hostile. And even if it’s not, many teenagers’ behavior is driven by this very idea of ​​themselves and the world.” However, their actions, which frighten adults, are not connected with the desire to part with life. On the contrary, they confirm the desire to live - to cope with suffering and restore peace of mind.

Pain relief

The paradox of the moment is that teenagers, damaging their bodies, experience ... an infantile sense of their own omnipotence. “The body remains the only reality that completely belongs only to them,” explains Inna Khamitova. - By damaging it, they can stop at any moment. By controlling their bodies in such a wild (from the point of view of adults) way, they feel that they are in control of their lives. And it reconciles them with reality.”

And yet, their frightening behavior speaks of a desire to live - to cope with suffering and regain their peace of mind.

Physical pain always muffles the mental one, which they cannot control, because you cannot force the one you love yourself to love, you cannot change your parents ... It can also indicate experienced violence (mental, physical or sexual).

“By demonstrating the wounds that a teenager inflicted on himself,” says sociologist David le Breton, “he unconsciously draws attention to those that are not visible. The cruelty that children show towards themselves allows them not to show it towards others. It acts in the manner of bloodletting in ancient times: it relieves excessive internal tension.

They hurt themselves so they don't feel pain anymore. Many teenagers talk about the feeling of relief that comes with self-inflicted injuries. 20-year-old Galina also writes about this: “After the cuts, moments of absolute happiness came. All the dark feelings seemed to flow out of me along with the blood. I stretched out on the bed, and I finally felt better.” It is this kind of appeasement that entails the risk of becoming addicted: destroying yourself in order to feel better. It is based on the analgesic effect of the action of endorphins - hormones that are produced in the body to drown out pain.

family frames

“I cut myself from about 14 to 17 years old,” recalls 27-year-old Boris. - And he stopped only when, becoming a student, he left home. Today, thanks to psychoanalysis, I have come to the conclusion that this is how I experienced my mother's dislike. She did not want me to be born and made me understand this every day. For her, I was the most worthless creature who will never achieve anything. I felt terrible guilt and regularly punished myself for not being worthy of her love.”

“A child who lacked gentle touches in the first years of life, growing up, can continue to experience this painfully,” explains Elena Vrono. - The body, which he never perceived as a source of pleasant sensations, remains detached, external to his personality. Injuring himself, he seems to destroy the boundary between the inner and the outer.”

Cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children attract the attention of adults to themselves.

Parents can exacerbate the suffering of teenagers. “Out of the best of intentions, many of them try not to praise their children, as if they could be spoiled by this,” says Inna Khamitova. - But children at any age need support and approval. They believe what we tell them. If adults constantly criticize the child, the child gets used to the idea that he is a bad (ugly, clumsy, cowardly) person. Self-harm can also be a revenge on yourself for a sensitive teenager, a punishment for being so bad.

But by hating themselves, teenagers don't realize that they actually hate what others think of themselves. This is confirmed by 16-year-old Anna: “Recently, I had a big fight with my best friend. She told me terrible things - that I didn't love anyone and that no one would ever love me. At home, I felt so bad that I scratched all my knuckles on the plaster.

A teenager thinks something like this: “At least in relation to myself I will act as I want.” And always cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children to attract the attention of adults to themselves. These are signals that parents can no longer dismiss, writing them off as features of the transition period.

risk boundary

It is important to understand the difference between single strength tests (“can I stand this?”), blood-written vows of friendship, and repeated self-torture. The former are associated either with recognizing one's "new" body and experimenting with it, searching for new sensations, or with rituals that exist among peers. These are transitory signs of the search for oneself. Constantly trying to hurt yourself is a clear signal for parents to seek professional help. But in every case when teenagers show aggression towards themselves, it is necessary to understand what they want to say. And we must listen to them.

What to do?

Teenagers seek understanding and at the same time carefully protect their inner world from annoying intrusions. They want to talk - but they can't express themselves. “And therefore,” our experts believe, “perhaps the best interlocutor at this moment will not be parents who find it difficult to remain passive listeners, but one of their relatives or acquaintances who can be there, sympathize and not panic.”

Sometimes all it takes to stop a kid... is a good beating from the parents. In such a paradoxical way, they make it clear that he has gone too far, and express concern. But if such behavior becomes a habit or the wounds pose a threat to life, it is better to consult a psychologist without delay. It is especially important to do this in the case when a teenager closes in on himself, begins to study poorly, feels constant drowsiness, loses his appetite - such symptoms may be a sign of more serious psychological problems.