Why don't we have children? The expert answers “Battles of psychics. Family without children Why do we not have children

How do you imagine a traditional strong and happy family? Most likely, for you, as for most people, it consists of mom, dad and one or more children. Many even believe that marriage without children cannot be called a family at all. “This is selfishness,” some say. “Having children strengthens a marriage, it’s only for them that a family is worth starting,” others add.

But there are many couples who live together for many years without kids. Another thing is how happy they are.

The hardest thing is when marriage without children is not a conscious choice, but a forced situation. Nastya got married while still very young - at the age of 19. “I fell in love, dreamed of a big, strong family,” she says. - Many acquaintances gossiped then that I became pregnant, and therefore I am in such a hurry. And it would be better if they were right. Nastya has been married for 6 years, she loves her husband, but they still have no children.

Incompatibility of Rh factors, inflammatory diseases, hormonal disorders, poor heredity ... There are dozens of reasons for infertility. Sometimes doctors can't even name a specific problem. Couples around the world are struggling with not being able to have children, which is why reproductive medicine is so popular right now. Many women believe that marriage involves the birth of children, otherwise, why get married at all? “A family without children is not a family for me at all,” Nastya continues, “just two lovers.”

Some couples, having lived without children for several years, divorce and make another attempt. Maria, 35, says she ran to doctors for seven years trying to get pregnant: “We spent a huge amount on hospitals and medicines. And most importantly, all the doctors made different diagnoses.” It was not possible to save the marriage, it fell apart: the absence of children was the main stumbling block: “I was 29 when Andrei and I divorced. And to be honest, I was desperate. But now I don’t regret,” says Maria. A three-year-old baby sits on her lap - the youngest son from her second marriage. The girl was lucky: literally six months after parting with her first husband, she met her second. He had no problems with pregnancy.

Her ex-husband also created a new family: with his second wife, he had a daughter. But deciding to divorce can be difficult, especially if you sincerely love your husband and cannot imagine anyone else in his place. It is not worth getting divorced because of infertility; modern medicine offers many different options for solving this problem. It is worth breaking up only if the problem of not having children has so spoiled your relationship with your husband that you have become far from each other.

It’s a completely different matter when you don’t want children in principle. And it doesn't matter if you're married or not. Unmarried women who declare their unwillingness to have children are usually advised to wait, explaining everything by the fact that “the one” has not yet met. Often this happens, but not always. There may be several reasons. Some think only about a career, others believe that they cannot take on such a huge responsibility as giving birth and, most importantly, raising children, others adhere to a selfish ideology and are not ready to sacrifice their own comfort. Olga is 42 years old, she is a primary school teacher, but she has no children of her own. “I love children, otherwise I would not have chosen this profession. But I never wanted to give birth. And how do you raise a child? The salary is barely enough for me alone, my ex-husband also works at school, we would not be able to provide children with a life in abundance. Olga's husband could neither convince her nor come to terms with the decision of his wife, so they divorced.

But it also happens that the unwillingness to have children unites the spouses, and they live happily together. Pasha and Sveta have been married for seven years, at first they avoided the “childish question” and simply enjoyed life together. “I was afraid that because of my unwillingness to have children, Light would leave me, and I love her.” For the first time, when Pasha spoke about children, his wife offered to wait, the second time she admitted that she did not want to give birth. When asked why, Sveta does not give a definite answer: “I just don’t want to. As I imagine it… Someone lives inside. And then there's the pain of childbirth. And all subsequent torment, education. This is not for me".

Children are born in a certain year, month, day and hour, and this is not determined by us. It seems to us that we are deciding something, that we can plan the birth of a child - we prepare, calculate, put our health in order ... In fact, we simply carry out a certain program laid down earlier: the year, month, day and hour of the birth of a child, which determines its energy characteristics by 90% (based on my practice), depends on our ancestors both on the paternal and maternal lines, up to the seventh generation. The actions of our ancestors, carrying a certain emotional coloring that affects the energy of other people, subsequently program the existence, development and quality of the future life of their descendants. This is a "rough" setting that we cannot change.

All we can really do is, if we draw an analogy with a radio receiver, turn the “fine” tuning knob in one direction or another, but always within the range given to us. Since our thoughts, deeds, words and emotions have an additional impact, both positive and negative, on the energy characteristics of our child, then before the moment of conception, we can either correct something, or, without knowing it, worsen it. This is entirely our responsibility. And here you will have to ask only from yourself.

Fate (providence, energy laws of interaction) is wise, and it simply waits to give us children that are as balanced as possible, suitable for both parents in terms of energy. It takes up to eight years for the parents' individual energy generators to hit the right resonance, which, in turn, would lead to offspring with the most favorable combination of energy. This case, by the way, lends itself to fairly good adjustment, since all that needs to be done is to bring the energies into resonance. The work, of course, is painstaking and individual: sometimes you need to move geographically, change your place of residence, sometimes you need to “weaken” or “strengthen” one of the partners, sometimes it’s enough to change your lifestyle and / or profession, sometimes you need to remove people with incompatible energy from the environment.

If someone has to wait more than 8 years, then, most likely, the reason is in the unfavorable energy confluences described below.

It is possible that people are so energetically unsuited to each other that only physically or mentally ill children can be born to them. And here already fate uses all means to avoid this. For example, very passionate emotional relationships, what is called love to the point of insanity, as a rule, give unhealthy offspring. It would seem illogical - a fountain of feelings and emotions, love that happens "once in a lifetime." But at the energy level, such relationships can be compared with a short circuit, which, as you know, does not lead to anything good. This was known long before us: in the old days, healers considered such love a disease, and diseases, as a rule, are contagious. So that only a sick child can be born from such a painful relationship. But, for example, the Chinese, to simplify the situation, created their own classification of unfavorable combinations - just turn to the Chinese horoscope.

Another rather important point is that people are not suitable for each other, but for other characteristics. And then it may turn out that the children will be healthy, but one of the spouses, if this marriage continues, is threatened with early death. Fate, by not giving them children, thus pushes them to part so that they can create a more secure marriage with another person. There are a million examples of this, and you yourself will remember cases among your acquaintances when, in subsequent marriages, both easily and quickly have healthy children.

It is clear that this, subject to the exclusion of problems at the physical level, is only two main reasons, the most common, and there are still other special cases.

What happens when there are problems at the physical level? I believe that my audience already has sufficient knowledge to understand that the root cause of all disturbances in the functioning of body systems lies in the plane of energy. Violation of the energy balance is the root cause of everything that happens on the physical level. Any diagnosis is already a violation of the balance. If the diagnosis cannot be made or it is constantly changing, then there is a reason to seriously think about the energy component. Infertility is one of the consequences of energy imbalance. And, fortunately, it is not always fatal. In my practice, there were various situations related to this problem, which were successfully resolved. The most difficult thing is when infertility is caused by the merits of ancestors, when the family stops at a certain moment. There isn't much that can be done here, unfortunately.

For example, one of the spouses inherited an energy problem from their ancestors - this is often called a “birth curse”. What is a generational curse? This is a type of qualified energy impact, which, as a rule, is expressed in the complete or partial loss (closure) of intuition, the impossibility of long-term partnerships, the impossibility of having children. If such a person took a person with crystal clear energy as his wife, then it turns out that fate has nothing to punish his soulmate for, giving her a sick child. And another from this spouse can hardly be born, alas ...

As for the termination of pregnancy, there are more social and ethical issues, as well as moments of a religious nature - and this is clearly not in my competence. If we consider it from the point of view of energy laws, then a lot goes against the Christian commandments, and your right is to accept it or not. I’m just expressing my opinion: a mother should have the right not to give birth to a child if she, even being in a happy marriage and generally not against children, clearly foresees that “something is wrong” with this child. Even knowing 100%, I will never take the responsibility to tell a pregnant woman that her child will be far from ideal, I can only hint that she trusts her feelings. I only regret that such a woman did not come to me earlier, when it would be possible to find a favorable time for the birth of a child - healthy, most suitable for both parents.

Definitely not worth terminating a pregnancy if you want a baby, but the only argument for not having one is material problems. Remember one universal energy law, which is expressed in simple words that are close to people: "God gives a child, God will give a child."

A child does not come into this world as a dependent, he will bring with him exactly as much energy as he needs for his whole life. And in the first years of life (and this is the answer to the question, where is his own energy until he is 10-12 years old), he will completely give his energy to you for temporary use. You will be able to contain it, at least you will definitely have it “on bread and butter”. Well, for the sake of continuing a kind of "without caviar" you can survive, right?

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Alexander Litvin- the winner of the sixth season of the "Battle of Psychics" program on the TNT channel, a person with the ability to see the energy of places, people and circumstances. A physician by education, he headed the medical service of a military unit in Chukotka for 15 years. He retired at 33, returned to his hometown of Troitsk, worked at customs. In August 2008, he resigned from customs, feeling a real chance to win in the Battle of Psychics project. Currently lives in Moscow, is engaged in private practice and business consulting.

“A happy person is one who has found harmony with himself. When we understand what it takes to be happy, everything becomes easier. We are moving towards the goal by modeling the future,” says Alexander.

Livejournal address: A-LITVIN.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

When marrying and getting married, young people dream and hope that the Lord will bless their family with children. But years pass, five, ten years ... and the long-awaited pregnancy does not occur. How to be in such a situation? What to do? It is clear that, first of all, to pray for children, but is it necessary to do something else, is it necessary to turn to modern medicine for help? And are all medical technologies that have recently become very popular, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), acceptable to the Orthodox? The pastors of the Russian Church answer.

The main thing for a Christian is a righteous life

- We are not told that in the case of a childless union, it is necessary to “do something”. Being a natural consequence of the carnal intimacy of spouses, they bring cares and joys, plans and disappointments, sacrificial service and comforts of mutual love into their lives. However, the main cause of our life - the acquisition of eternal salvation - does not significantly depend on the presence or absence of children, which means that, with all human dispositions for their birth, the main feeling should remain trust in the Providence of God, in charge of all our earthly things that do not depend on us. circumstances.

– Many holy people were not born immediately and from elderly parents. In this case, they begged from God and were literally prayed-for children; at the same time, the passion of youth was not transmitted to those born from elderly parents.

Artificial insemination technologies - a gross intrusion into the sacrament of childbirth

– If God does not give a family children, one must hope, do not despair, wait patiently. Today, many people are not very healthy, and therefore it happens that even after several years of marriage there are no children. We must pray and fast. Pray to the righteous Joachim and Anna, Peter and Fevronia. Make pilgrimages to or from other places.

The long absence of children from the spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other

The long absence of children from spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other, because when everything is easy for a person, everything is given to him for nothing, he does not appreciate it too much. And when people are connected by some kind of joint misfortune, they become closer to each other, they begin to love each other especially sensitively, having overcome this misfortune.

As for IVF, which is marketed as a fertility treatment. Artificial insemination is a gross intrusion into the sacrament of conception, into the sacrament of procreation. And we know that the Council of Bishops of 2000 forbade Orthodox Christians to resort to this technology, although some slyly see in this prohibition an opportunity to resort to some variants of artificial conception. But the decisions of the Council clearly state that from the Orthodox point of view, all varieties of in vitro fertilization, involving the preparation, preservation and subsequent destruction of embryos, are unacceptable. With artificial insemination, the embryos are always destroyed - that is, they are killed.

Let me briefly remind you what the essence of this technology is. Superovulation is stimulated in a woman in order to receive a large number of eggs at once, sometimes even up to 20; the best of them are selected, fertilized with the husband's seed and placed in a special incubator for several days. Then some (always several) are transplanted into the uterus, others are frozen, they can later be used by the same married couple, and others. Such is the conveyor for the production of children. And a lot of money is spinning here: one attempt with all the accompanying procedures costs at least 150 thousand rubles in Moscow. And, for example, people came to me who made 10-15 attempts. And to no avail. Because IVF does not give a 100% result! This is a business on human grief, not infertility treatment.

With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed

Now let's ask ourselves a question: what happens if all the embryos transplanted into the uterus began to develop? After all, several of them are introduced at once, so that there is a greater likelihood of their taking root, because not all take root ... What happens when several take root? “Superfluous” embryos are reduced, that is, they are surgically removed - abortions are performed. So, during IVF, fertilized embryos are destroyed, which are already babies with a soul. And it turns out that a person who goes for IVF goes for abortions.

There is such a crafty trick: in some medical centers they offer "IVF for believers." It is proposed not to implant several embryos, and then remove some of them, but to do a sparing superovulation, get a small number of embryos and implant them. But this does not change the essence of the matter.

A person who goes for IVF is, in fact, going for an abortion.

IVF technology is completely godless. A person takes on the function of the Lord God, intervenes in what should mysteriously happen in the mother's body.

Another question: why should fertilized embryos develop in an incubator for several days? Here's why. To find out if there are any pathologies, mainly genetic. And there is an order signed by the Minister of Health, according to which, in case of a danger of developing pathologies, the embryo should not be transplanted. Such an embryo is killed.

I'm not talking about the fact that with IVF there are much more miscarriages, much more missed pregnancies. And many more premature babies are born.

Unfortunately, there are very few statistical studies on the health of children born through IVF. Why? Because it's a business, a corporate conspiracy. Data is available, but not disclosed. But something is becoming known. So, academician Altukhov, a famous geneticist, an Orthodox person, testifies: almost 20% of IVF children have mental pathologies.

Another problem: in nature, when an egg enters the mother’s uterus, it is met by a million spermatozoa, but only one is attached - the most “strong”, so to speak. But IVF can be done even with a very weak seed of the husband. And if the seed material is not of very good quality, what will the children be like?

So the Orthodox way is this: pray, wait. And if the Lord does not send a child, do what has been done in Russia and in other countries for centuries - to take an orphan child or from an orphanage for upbringing.

We must accept God's Providence

– There are secrets of Divine care for people, they are incomprehensible. When Rachel, the wife of the patriarch Jacob, who did not have offspring, reproached her husband: “Give me children, and if not, I die,” Jacob replied: “Am I the God who did not give you the fruit of the womb?” (Gen. 30:1-2).

If the Lord does not give children, then first of all we must turn to Him. Often children were served after fervent prayers, fasting and alms. The Lord is testing parents, whether they are ready to accept a child precisely as a gift from God, and not as a product of the latest medical technologies.

Among Russian women unable to conceive, 70% suffered from abortion

Of course, there are many shades in the topic raised. Sometimes - the result of the sins of the youth of the parents. One of the statistics says that among Russian women who do not have the opportunity to conceive a child, 70% suffered from an abortion. Certain types of contraception also have a detrimental effect on childbearing. In such cases, the person himself deprived himself of the opportunity to give birth to children. It turns out such an absurdity - at first a person does everything possible so that he does not have children, and then he is ready to turn to anything, for example, surrogate motherhood, just to get a child. Such people need, first of all, repentance, to remove from themselves the sinful causes of infertility, and then, as the Lord gives.

There is a different situation: the spouses tried to live according to the commandments of God, but for health reasons they cannot conceive. In such situations, one must, of course, be treated, try possible natural remedies, but entrust the final result into the hands of God.

In general, each case is individual. From a little pastoral practice, I can say that a confessor often sees that it is more useful for such a particular person to be alone than to have a child, but for another it would be better to have babies and dissolve completely in sacrificial care for them. Someone cannot take a child from an orphanage in any way, because they lack patience and elementary affection and love. And for someone, an adopted someone else's child becomes so dear that God's blessing overshadows such a family and home comfort reigns in it. I even observed situations when women who did not have a family took children from an orphanage, and not one, but two at once - a brother and a sister, and these women became wonderful mothers. Of course, the absence of a father affects, but these children have a mother, and this is already joy and happiness.

I will tell the story of one of my friends. Her name is Evgenia. She married at 25, and for five years they had no children. She went to doctors, went to a family planning center, which was literally overflowing with women suffering from infertility. Evgenia saw that often the search for a diagnosis and treatment entails a huge waste of money, and as a result, nothing happens, and then doctors offer IVF. Having got acquainted with the IVF method, she realized that she could not resort to this, a protest arose inside, although she was not yet a church person. The fact is that IVF is a gross manipulation of human life: embryos are harvested, preserved, and the excess ones are simply destroyed, that is, the same abortion occurs. Eugenia learned that there are cases when, after a long period of infertility, someone received healing in a miraculous way in the temple. So she came to the idea that only God gives children. Through her infertility, Eugenia came to faith, and her husband was also baptized. She herself confessed and took communion. I read penitential canons, prayers for children.

After the holy spring, she had a dream: she was carrying a basket in which a child was lying.

Somehow she learned about the Borovsky Monastery, which has a font, and many said that if you take a dip there, then illnesses disappear. When she and her husband made the pilgrimage and managed to take a dip, two weeks later she already had a positive pregnancy test. Before that, I could not get pregnant for five years! And after the holy spring she had a dream: she is carrying a basket in which lies a child; she asks, "What's your name?" He replied: "Daniel". And she was told during examinations and ultrasound that she would have a girl. But a boy was born, and he was named Daniel.

When Daniil was already going to kindergarten, one day she became ill, bleeding began. It turned out that she was pregnant, but there was a miscarriage. The doctors talked about the complication and the need for some kind of operation, they said that now she would definitely never give birth, except through IVF. Evgenia went to her confessor, who, having prayed, said: “I think that it is not necessary to have an operation, but I bless you for a daughter.” Exactly one month later, she became pregnant - the doctors were shocked. Indeed, a daughter was born, and they named her Anastasia. Evgenia herself firmly understood that children are from God, which means that God should be addressed first of all.

In general, any deed is truly good only when it is in harmony with the will of God. And the will of God is not determined as quickly as we would like. If the spouses diligently turn to the Lord in their prayers, coordinate their desires with the confessor, the will of God will nevertheless be revealed to them, and then it will be clear what is right for them: to expect miraculous grace-filled help, undergo treatment, or take a child from an orphanage into the family .

You can’t be guided by emotions alone, you need prudence and prudence

– Of course, the absence of children in the family is an occasion to start more seriously and soberly to lead your Christian life and pray purely for the gift of children. Here patience needs to be shown considerable, and it happens that the Lord rewards for this patience and constancy in doing good, so that children will be born in the family even after three, five or more years of “barrenness”. This is a great joy and a great mercy! And parents who conceived and gave birth to a child in such difficult circumstances truly know the high price and meaning of fatherhood and motherhood. If only they would not “stop there” and turn their valuable child into some kind of idol, an idol around which the whole world revolves. This should not be, and it can even be called a crime against God, because the Lord gives a child not at all in order to be raised from him as an egoist who is used to thinking that he is the navel of the earth and something completely special compared to “everyone else.” ". That is why it would be good if there were many children in the family ...

With reasoning, you can resort to medical care: the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit.

But if there are no children and no, even despite obvious efforts in keeping piety and prayer, there always comes a moment when the family asks the question: where is the “line of expectation”? And in what? Should I continue to live, completely and humbly relying on the Lord, or adopt children, or should I resort to medical help? It seems that, firstly, everything should be done with reasoning and spiritually, that is, with prayer and advice from the family confessor, again because people are different and circumstances are different. Someone, perhaps, needs to show extreme humility with patience (their faith allows them to do just that), for someone it will be right and good to go to the doctors, undergo an examination and resort to their help with reason, because the Lord also created the doctors and this profession exists for our benefit, it is not a sin to resort to the help of doctors. But this is where reasoning is needed, because we know that some modern methods of "reproducing" are contrary to God's commandments. So here you have to be careful not to cross the line of what is permitted.

And for some families, in accordance with their location and well-being, perhaps the way opens for the adoption of those unfortunate children who are deprived of paternal and maternal warmth and care. And we know families where there are not one, but several such adopted children, and they, together with their adoptive parents, make up a real big family. This, of course, is the work of God, blessed, but here, too, prudence and prudence are needed so as not to be guided by emotions alone, often transient, remembering that the decision to adopt is a great responsibility, so that “stepping back” will then be akin to the sin of betrayal. May the Lord keep it from this! Therefore, here, too, you need to consult with your confessor, pray hard and soberly assess your strengths and capabilities.

Do everything only with the help and blessing of God

“Put on the whole armor of God” (Eph. 6:11), the Apostle Paul tells us. Hope and wait patiently, pray and fast (but only after taking the priest's blessing). And, of course, you can take a child from an orphanage. “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me” (Matt. 18:5), the Lord tells us. But to do artificial insemination is not worth it, because it is contrary to nature. The Lord gave us another, natural way to conceive and give birth to children, the one that is best suited for us.

There is no need to speed things up. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us in good time

And yet it is not necessary to speed up events by doing artificial insemination, because this is an interference with Divine Providence. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us everything in good time. That is, when you need it, when it's best. We, due to our sinfulness and self-will, often do not want to understand and accept this. And so in a hurry we try to do what the Lord does. And we always get incomparably worse than God. After all, our Heavenly Father is holy and infallible, but we are weak, blind and sinful.

Therefore, you don’t have to do anything yourself, but only with the help and blessing of God, which are most often and mainly taught in the Church, including through the clergy.

The prophet Abraham and Sarah also did not have children for a long time, and God gave them a son - the righteous prophet Isaac. Moreover, at an age when it is already physiologically impossible to have children. The Most Holy Theotokos was also born to the righteous Godfathers Joachim and Anna - “The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison,” as the Holy Church sings to Her. And the righteous Zechariah and Elizabeth gave birth to John the Baptist. “Truly I say to you, of those born of women there has not risen greater than John the Baptist” (Matt. 11:11), the Lord tells us. And all because they lived all their lives according to the will of God, they always put the holy will of God above their human will and their human desires.

And we should strive to do the same. And then future saints will be born among us, and we will live in holiness and see many miracles from the Lord. And we will see the main miracle - that God is infinite, all-perfect, merciful, crucifying Himself and saving us Love. Leading us to eternal and endless joy in the Kingdom of Heaven with all the saints who have pleased God from time immemorial. Amen.

– If the Lord does not give children, of course, it is necessary to turn to Him with fervent prayer. And the Church knows many examples when, in response to prayers, God gave a blessing and a child was conceived.

If there are no children in the marriage and the marriage is unmarried, it is necessary to get married. In all the prayers of the sacrament of the wedding, the Lord is asked for mercy and the grace of raising children.

It will not be superfluous, as experience shows, and a pilgrimage trip to one of the saints of God. But just so that it doesn’t happen like this: “We’ll go to Matronushka, pray, and when the baby is born, we’ll forget the way to the temple.” Here, too, there is temptation. If we turn to the Lord, then the prayer should look something like this: “Lord, give a child by Your mercy, and we will devote our lives to You, and we will raise the child in Orthodoxy.” And if people's thinking is built in this way, the Lord, of course, will give His grace.

Once upon a time, the absence of offspring was considered a curse, the most terrible punishment of the gods. Those who have read the Bible know that in ancient Palestine, for example, a couple without offspring could be subjected to natural obstruction, up to expulsion: apparently, the family of the Lord was angered by something, since He deprives them of the happiness of childbearing.

Comparatively (by historical standards) recently, only one hundred and fifty to two hundred years ago, the concepts of " family planning” did not exist in principle, they gave birth, how much God would send.

Yes, and why delve so far into the past, if only a dozen years ago we ourselves could not explain to our relatives why in our family, five years after marriage, there were still no offspring.

Are you sick? Did God deprive the spouse of male power? The explanations that we just don’t want it yet were not understood by the relatives and were not accepted categorically, and yet the difference between them and us is only one or two generations.

Now families with one or two babies are the majority in our area, " small families”, as they were defined in the official papers of the Russian Empire, have become the norm. At the same time, the number of families without offspring at all has also increased. What are the reasons for this phenomenon, and how to live without children?

What are the reasons?

Greedy for dubious sensations, journalists present the decline in the birth rate and the fall in the population as some kind of our unprecedented specificity. In fact, the decline in the birth rate and the average number of children per unit of society is observed throughout Europe.

Until recently, a similar picture was observed in the United States, but now the statistics have been broken by actively breeding immigrants from Mexico and Latin America.

By and large, everything is more or less clear with the reason for " few children", with the development of civilization, a large number of offspring has ceased to be economically feasible. In a primitive peasant economy, the number of workers was a decisive factor that ensured not even prosperity, but physical survival.

Already at the age of five or six, the offspring was an au pair, and at 14-15 he was a full-time worker. After the baby was weaned, the care of him was completely entrusted to the shoulders of the elders, thus, " playback pipeline"passed to full self-sufficiency.

Having numerous offspring was tritely beneficial, the benefit was gone - the massive multiplicity of families also became a thing of the past.

The attentive reader will ask, but what about the breeding immigrants, do they really earn their living by primitive agriculture? The reason for the fecundity of the marginalized are social benefits accrued, including for offspring.

More "livestock" - more social "buns", again the economic factor is evident. However, the analysis of social policy lies far beyond the scope of our today's discussion, so there is no point in dwelling on this point in detail.

Arguments for childlessness

We figured out the “ small children”, but parenthood is a natural need, what is the reason for the complete absence of offspring in some families?

"Detocentrism" ... against children

We are so used to the fact that " all the best for children», « children is our future and similar postulates and the slogan that they seem to us something taken for granted, it seems that this has always been the case. However, this is not the case. The already mentioned economically justified peasant large number of offspring had a downside.

The first and best piece of always meager peasant food went to the peasant - the head of the family, the main worker and breadwinner, then the wife-assistant, and only after the children, always first the eldest, then the youngest.

Such, frankly, a wild alignment from a modern point of view had a harsh life expediency: with the death of a breadwinner, the family was doomed, it was much easier for the family to survive the death of his wife, and the kids ... God gave - God took it, it was a long time to grieve and kill once, the work did not wait.

Thanks to progress, the specter of hunger has ceased to stand behind the backs of almost every family, which has had a very beneficial effect on the attitude towards offspring, but the pendulum has swung to the other extreme. The baby is proclaimed the center of the family universe, Moloch, on the altar of which all other interests of the family should lie.

Instead of a healthy attitude towards babies, as natural fruits of love, beloved, but younger members of the family, sometimes real “child worship” comes. To replace the child-assistant, a child-god is often erected on a pedestal.

The greatest gift that parents give to a child - life itself, is no longer enough, society dictates that the family must prove that it is worthy to bring the child into this world. Before you give birth, you need to provide a child ... and then follows a list, the completeness of which is limited only by fantasy.

It sometimes comes to the point that the family refuses the second child, because ... the first one is against it! After all, this can reduce the amount of benefits that he receives and parental attention. Attracting an older child to help with the maintenance of a younger one is often declared by society as unacceptable violence against the freedom of an older child.

The fear of being an "unworthy" parent, the prospect of renouncing everything for the good of the child, as well as the underlying fear of becoming a slave to one's own child turn many away from parenthood in general.

Life without children

Regardless of the reasons, if the desired joy of motherhood is not available to you, then how to live without children? It should be remembered that the instinct of motherhood, albeit the strongest (often the instinct of motherhood is stronger than even the instinct of self-preservation), but just an instinct.

Every woman first asks herself this question with great care. Yes, this thought flickers in my head very rarely and immediately leaves. Why? How why? It's just that the time has not yet come, few attempts have been made yet, but next month everything will definitely work out. However, the next month comes, and there were no children, and no. Now this question comes up again and again. So why don't you have kids? First we lie down and meditate with ourselves. But time goes by, so you have to turn to specialists, read feature articles, try to figure out what is the reason for the lack of pregnancy.

I'm going to a specialist. Do not be afraid to contact a good gynecologist to solve your problem. A professional will answer your question much better than you can. The gynecologist will not only look at the state of your body, but also make an analysis, give an accurate description of your current state of health. His advice will be the most important for you, as he gives them to you on the basis of the analyzes made. It focuses solely on your personal problem, and not on all problems combined. Now we can tell you only the general reasons for the lack of pregnancy. If the doctor gave you disappointing results, this is not a reason to be upset. Just think logically. So, are all our specialists really highly qualified? We are all humans. Relatives helped someone to get a job in a prestigious clinic, friends helped someone. If a person works in an expensive hospital, this does not mean at all that he is a good specialist. There are people who graduated from the university with a diploma, for a long time they thought about how to find a job and, as a result, got a job in state clinics, where they pay a penny, and people are accepted for free. However, this did not make the doctor's qualifications lower; he can still give the right advice. Therefore, we recommend that you, if you have received a disappointing diagnosis, go for an examination to another clinic to another specialist. Most likely, there you will get a different test result. If you live in a small town, then today you can get advice via the Internet. Get tested, and then talk via Skype with a good specialist from a big city. Perhaps he can help you.

Sanatoriums. Take a course of treatment in a sanatorium. Perhaps your body is simply not ready to get pregnant. For example, you just need a general course of treatment, general tone, filling the body with vitamins, fresh air, removing toxins from the body. So many girls, completely relaxed, can easily become pregnant.

Don't think about pregnancy. As a rule, what you think about most, what you most desire - does not work out. When you make love to your spouse, give yourself completely to him, do not think about anything, do not worry that this time it may not work out, then you will become pregnant. Many psychologists advise those couples who have not had children for a long time to adopt or adopt a child. Psychics use the same technique. Allegedly, if you do a good deed, take the child into the family, then you will succeed. What is really happening? Yes, you are taking another child into the family, now you have experienced the joy of motherhood, now you spend all day thinking about what to buy for the baby, how to make sure that he does not catch a cold, how to cure him of illnesses. All these things you do with special joy. Now you don't think about your child 24 hours a day. You just enjoy life, then you can easily get pregnant. Why do teenagers and young people get pregnant easily and simply? They simply do not think about the child, they are sure that in case of negligence, the child will be born. This is how it happens.

Compatibility analysis. Perhaps the fact that you do not have children is not your fault, but your spouse's. Take him to the doctor. Check if your husband is able to have children, how active his spermatozoa are. It so happens that it is his sperm that is not so active that you can become pregnant. Then he needs to undergo treatment.

Age. Very often, doctors blame the age. Allegedly, a woman after 40 years is very difficult to get pregnant. This is such nonsense that you should not even listen to it. Look on the Internet for real stories of those women who gave birth to a child at 43 and 45 years old. They just knew that they would succeed, that under the close attention of doctors, they would be able to give birth not to one, but to twins or triplets. In extreme cases, there is artificial insemination, when the probability of pregnancy is 80%. The main thing is to believe and know that pregnancy will certainly happen.

Birth control pills. If you drink birth control pills, then your chance of getting pregnant increases significantly in the first 1-2 months after stopping the course. Therefore, be prepared for the fact that you will soon have a small child. If you can't get pregnant, then try a little trick. Take birth control pills for six months, and then the first month after taking it, don’t even think about pregnancy. Then you will be amazed at the result. At the same time, children are born absolutely healthy, strong, smart and beautiful.

Go to the bath less. Don't take hot showers. It may happen that you have already become pregnant, but went to the sauna and now your pregnancy is gone. In the first days, weeks, months, the possibility of miscarriage is very high. It can be provoked by sudden changes in temperature. Therefore, give up the sauna, hot showers and hot baths. Surprise, but this can help the onset of pregnancy.

Sport. Sport is always good for maintaining the overall tone of the body. However, if you overuse sports loads, then pregnancy may not occur. It is enough just to go to the gym 2 times a week and work out there for 1 hour. Then you will look great, and pregnancy will come faster.

Your weight. Look at yourself in the mirror. How much do you weigh? If you see a thin person in the reflection, then you should not be surprised why you do not have children. How will the baby develop, how are you going to give birth to him if you don't have a belly? Previously, women gave birth very often, because their body was ready for childbirth. Now, in the body of a skeleton, a new life simply cannot arise. Yes, we do not argue, and thin girls give birth to children, but their thinness is hereditary. These girls eat whatever they want. They eat bread, pasta, ice cream, nuts in the amount required. It's just that their body is so arranged that it does not get fat. If you constantly diet, overload your body in the gym, then nothing good will come of it.

Your body is just not ready. Maybe until your body is just not ready for childbirth. How to understand that you can give birth? Everything is very simple, if you notice that with the same amount of food you began to gain weight, or your body constantly asks for more and more food, then it is preparing to become pregnant. Nature is much wiser than us. A person only needs to listen to it in order to start raising a happy, healthy baby of loving parents after a while.