An example of psychological counseling. A case from the practice of a psychologist
Hello dear readers!
Many did not remain indifferent. It's nice. Speaks about the sufficient relevance of the topic. Judging by the comments, many people liked the article. There were also unusual comments, judging by which, readers saw in the text what they wanted to see, and not what was written in it. There are those who argue that it is not good enough. It is strange that these people, who are interested in the problem of whims, did not find anything interesting in the article explaining the essence of this phenomenon. At the same time, they simultaneously demonstrated their awareness of this issue and pointed out the need to write practical advice on the topic raised, seeking general advice.
I would like to remind you that it is impossible to fix the car yourself, even if you have the equipment, until you spend time studying its device. It is impossible to repair it based on the situation: “Something has been buzzing in it for a long time, it seems to me that this is a generator ...” - it is impossible. Or is it a bearing? To solve the problem of whims, you must understand the essence of this phenomenon, and this is why I spent my time writing the previous article. Understanding the essence of a phenomenon without the ability to solve the problems associated with it suggests that in fact there is no understanding of the essence, but there is an illusion of understanding. I think that in this situation it is worth remembering the old parable:
One day, four blind men wanted to know what an elephant is, at least what it looks like. They asked me to take them to the elephant. One touched the elephant by the trunk, and remarked: "The elephant is like a thick rope." The second touched the tail, and objected to him: “No, not on a rope, but rather on a rope ...”. The third, who touched the elephant's leg, objected: "No, it actually looks like a pole." And the fourth, who touched his stomach, said: “You are all wrong! The elephant is like a huge barrel!”. And the blind men began arguing animatedly about what the elephant really looked like. And they were all wrong, and each of them was right in his own way.
So thank you very much for your perfectly fair comments. And I, seeing from the comments the lack of awareness and illumination of knowledge among the masses on the topic raised, I will continue.
I am a practitioner. I write about what I have seen many hundreds of times, about what I have had to deal with many times. I come from my practical experience, and not from dozens of theories, sometimes close to practice, sometimes immeasurably distant, sometimes created to explain completely different forms of education and its results. Quoting other people's truths, and sometimes other people's nonsense, set forth in these theories, is not my goal. In addition, I am a doctor, not a psychologist, I treat, not advise.
In this article I will try to concretize some aspects of the problem of children's capricious behavior and the accompanying hysterical reactions.
Again, I am a practitioner. I saw these reactions many hundreds of times, probably in all possible variants and manifestations. Therefore, I will begin with specific practical examples that will illustrate the dynamics of the formation and elimination of such a form of behavior as a whim and the dynamics of the accompanying hysterical symptoms.
Case Study #1(most common option)
Initial data: Girl 2 years old 4 months Raised by a young complete family. First and only child. Father is an auto mechanic. Works honestly and conscientiously from dark to dark. Ambitious. On weekends, he walks with his wife and daughter, plays with the child, practically without letting go and not leaving her a single step. Loving, paying attention, having a desire to educate. She teaches her daughter to stand up for herself, to insist on her own, not to give in. The family also makes efforts to ensure that the daughter grows up both smart and beautiful. In the conversation, it turns out that the father sometimes even conflicts with other people, defending the interests of the child. At the same time, it is categorical and unambiguous. He is not inclined to dialogue and compromise in everything related to his daughter. By type - the girl is always right. If the girl is wrong, contact me. And I certainly - always right. If strangers really infringe on the interests of the child, he starts a war. And it doesn’t matter who the grandmother, grandfather, folder, mother is in front of him - he is categorical, uncompromising and cruel with everyone. He does not tolerate when any mother or nanny reprimands his child. To this he replies, “educate your children”. He is a strong, brave man and of course he has the most beautiful wife and, of course, the most beautiful and smart daughter. The wife is a young bright housewife with a higher education, with far-reaching plans for life.
The family has some demonstration of living beyond their means. An expensive beautiful car was purchased on credit, they dress in catchy clothes, they do not limit the child in anything. At the same time, they still have a rather modest income, most of which goes to renting housing. In communication, it is easy to judge things in which they are incompetent. Always confident in your opinion and knowledge. By the way, this is one of the signs of parents whose children are prone to capricious behavior. Loudness, brightness, demonstrativeness.
Child behavior: In response to almost any circumstance he does not like, he screams loudly, stamps his feet, refuses to respond to any instructions from adults, often falls, beats his head on the floor, rolls on the floor, sometimes scratches his face, etc. The reaction can occur at any moment of the walk, conversation, any action, when, it would seem, there is no reason. Coming to visit, the family is forced to leave after 20-25 minutes. Reactions always come. And always stormy. I was shown videos of these things. In fact, it looked scary. When trying to stop such behavior, the child made even more "horror". He shouted louder, frantically, froze, his breath was held for some time longer than normal. Neither threats, nor persuasion, nor distraction worked. The hysteria stopped abruptly, just as it started on its own.
The essence of the correction: With this child, I practically did not work. Why? At the reception, I was convinced that the girl did not have any mental disorders that could be feared (which is why a higher medical education is important for working with children). On the other hand, many man-hours were spent to correct the behavior of mom and dad, as well as grandfather, who took a lively and close part in the process. The correction was carried out using a standard set of NLP psychotherapeutic techniques (with elements of hypnosis, in the case of dad), but mostly it was good old rational psychotherapy with an explanation of the situation. This approach allows us to disavow all false ideas about raising a child, allows us to show how a child is actually brought up, and not how it seems to parents. The role of incorrect social dominants is shown. And, most importantly, the connection between the child's behavior and the behavior of his parents is revealed without alternative. If the therapist is competent and literate, reasonable moms and dads have no options to resist the correction of their parental behavior.
It is worth noting that after the change in the behavior of the parents, the behavior of the child has changed dramatically. In the context of the new behavior of the parents, the old behavior of the child - with whims and tantrums, simply became meaningless. And since the girl was mentally healthy, her psyche, freed from parental stupidity, developed new forms of behavior quickly and reliably, as it should be for the psyche of a healthy child.
Conclusion: In this case, which is not difficult to correct, the main thing is to work with parents. The child was actually nothing to do with it. To most, it will seem that the initial data of the family is normal. Surely - that's the way it is. A wonderful cell of society, they love each other, the daughter does not have a soul, but the forms of behavior of parents in society and the forms of their interaction with the child made the little girl behave in this way.
Case study #2. scary and clinical
Initial data: At the reception a girl 6 years 7 months. A categorical refusal to take hard food. Instantaneous vomiting in response to any attempt to swallow. And so 3 months without dynamics before treatment. The physiological extinction of the child was already observed. Options for parenteral (through a dropper) nutrition began. The girl could not even swallow porridge, mashed potatoes - only absolutely liquid food. Before my eyes when I try to drink a spoonful of transparent chicken broth, she, feeling on her tongue a millimeter brown lump, one of those that swim in broths, gave out several powerful spasms of the stomach and esophagus. And so several days of receptions in a row. In response to any irritation with any food of the oral cavity, instantaneous vomiting followed.
Analysis of the situation: In this child, compared with case No. 1 (described above), a persistent pathological reflex has already formed. Found out that the capriciousness inherent in her in early childhood, made her very similar to the 2-year-old girl from the previous example. Mom and dad raised her diligently and honestly. The girl was a late child. And at 6 years and 7 months. this moodiness intersected with the following random situations:
At home at breakfast, the girl choked and was very frightened. Somehow they calmed down, but the next day, in front of the girl, by coincidence, her older sister choked and coughed until she vomited.
Neurologists and psychiatrists provided medical treatment. To no avail. The gastroenterologist spoke about a spasm of the muscles of the gastrointestinal tract. It's really scary when I see these kids. Hysterical spasm is very difficult to remove and resists correction like an animal.
The essence of the correction: With psychotherapeutic methods, I removed this reflex for 5 days in a row. Technically it was very difficult. On the eighth day, the girl swallowed hard food for the first time in three months. But the main work after the elimination of symptoms, again, was carried out with my mother. And, believe me, working with mom turned out to be more difficult than eliminating the child's hysterical reflex. That is, I had to do what had to be done with my mother a few years ago. This mother, although she was older than the mother from the previous example, was also bright, ambitious, well-read and omniscient, and also a teacher-psychologist by education. Before the clinical case with her daughter, she did not allow the thought that she was doing something wrong with her child. The girl was very developed, lively, mobile, trained. Forgive me for the cynicism, but to explain to my mother the extent of her mistakes in upbringing, the fear experienced at the sight of her daughter's suffering helped. This fear made her less critical, more receptive to accepting unusual but correct behavior towards her daughter. She realized that the source of all this nightmare in many ways is herself. The woman is smart and educated, but misguided. Of course, she managed and, as I can judge, in adolescence, the girl entered and passed it without any excesses.
Case from practice No. 3."Superclinical" (especially impressionable - do not read :-))
Initial data: Girl 15 years old. The anamnesis is about the same as that of the little girls in the previous examples. Excellent family. Both father and mother are very caring.
The interests of children come first. I knew this family well and was surprised when they appeared with the problem of a sharp painful spasm of the eye muscles in their daughter. On the eve of the spasm, the girl came home too late. The father expressed strong paternal disagreement with this. The girl answered boldly. In response, her father verbally humiliated her, emphasizing her physical immaturity, the structural features of the body, corresponding to her age. The words of the father, as he aimed, touched on the pain point of the daughter's psyche, but the reaction that arose was much stronger than the father expected. As a result of this reaction, the muscles around the eye spasmed and the eye closed.
There was a hysterical spasm of the circular muscle of the eye. Quite a rare motor hysterical reaction. For all the years of practice, I saw this no more than 12-15 times. This hysterical spasm of the muscle of the eye, "do not take" any medication. It looked like this: - the eye simply closes, as if it were tightly, strongly, forcibly closed. But it’s impossible to open it - a day, two, three, a week, at night and during the day. The spasm is so strong that you can’t even open your eyes with your fingers, and this is for many days in a row. Naturally, all this trouble is accompanied by severe pain.
The essence of the correction: Broke this reaction for 3 days. The eye opened. Although it was not easy, it came down to a competent psychotherapeutic technique. It's like using a certain set of tools. And, ... again, the correction of relationships in the family took more time than the removal of a severe spasm.
Now this girl is 26 years old. Two children. Normal family. But, a month ago, she brought her 3-year-old daughter. They came in the same lineup. She, who became a mother, with her parents and her daughter. With what? Guess in one go! That's right: - With children's whims!
Thank God, the child's behavior was corrected quickly. Who? Not me. I corrected the behavior of my mother, grandparents. Remembering the spasm-eye adventure 11 years ago, they listened to my every recommendation and did what was required to correct the situation. They changed their behavior. They succeeded.
conclusions
There are hundreds of cases from practice, and only on the basis of their analysis, one can understand the following:
- It is often pointless to work with a child at the stage of behavioral disorder, called childish whims. In the overwhelming majority of cases, it is not the child who is the subject of psychotherapy, but his parents.
- The main method of correcting a child's hysterical behavior is to work with parents and change their behavior, and often their life attitudes. In most cases, adults who are around are the main thing in the pathogenesis of the formation of these reactions. This is the main determinant of a child's behavior. That is why, in many cases, numerous psychologists' advice on correcting children's behavior may not work, because the essence of children's behavior is largely the removal of a mold from the behavior of adults. Without correcting the behavior of mothers, fathers, nannies and other surroundings from the retinue of a magnificent baby, it is impossible to achieve a result. Adults need to change their behavior in general, and not at the moment of a child's whim, not specifically for its correction, but in general daily, hourly. You need to understand that it is your behavior that is the starting point for all types of behavior of your child.
- For most cases, the features of the children themselves are also typical. Usually these are smart, developed, often a little higher than their peers children with a rich emotional component.
- The capricious behavior of children in childhood is the basis for the formation of hysterical, phobic and other neurotic reactions in adulthood and adolescence. It is also possible to exacerbate or modify the problem into latent hysterical symptoms. Suppress the child. And in response to the suppressed behavior, the child has a reactive muscle spasm (in the intestines, throat, diaphragmatic, etc.). That is, a variety of psychosomatic symptoms will form. Which in adolescence results in gastritis, dyskinesia, bronchial asthma, allergic reactions, decreased immunity, skin disorders. In adolescence, all this trouble will flourish in full bloom because:
- the social burden on the child increases sharply, and his forms of interaction with the help of the reactions of the hysteroid circle formed in childhood do not work and turn into psychosomatic symptoms.
- at the same time, a huge physiological load falls on the body of a teenager. Intensive body growth. Hormonal afterburner of all these changes.
And again I will say, as a practitioner: In each case, a highly individual approach is required. Even the treatment of the common cold varies from person to person. One has a high temperature and needs to be knocked down, the other has no temperature. One - with complications due to the anatomical features of the sinuses, the other - no. As for the psyche, there are more nuances by an order of magnitude. The work sometimes resembles the work of a jeweler. Amateurism is not acceptable here. I'm not talking about parents. The parents are in the situation. They love the child, they want everything for him, everything and they try. The fact that they, like any other people, are limited within the framework of their own life and professional experience, just like you and me, like all of us, is understandable. But if amateurism is multiplied by the frenzy of effort? Plus categoricalness, often due to the high level of education and ambitions of mothers of children suffering from whims and hysterical reactions? The whole life experience of such mothers tells them that they are actually smart, competent. This is true, but anyone can make mistakes. Seeing a bunch of advice that does not work, they, of course, are looking for a way out, they read a lot, they know a lot. They cope with adversity in their own way and, if possible, are deservedly proud of it. But the scheme worked out by this particular mother will not necessarily work in the case of another child.
In addition to the above points, it is very important to understand that if the case clinical, how in example 2 or in example 3, urgent, even emergency professional help from a psychotherapist is needed.
Completion
You can discuss as much as you want about the correctness and incorrectness of the norms of parental behavior. Raising adults is a thankless and incorrect occupation. It's just that there are quite specific psycho-physiological constructions that accompany this or that behavioral form.
I'll give an example: On the table is a glass of a certain shape. You can pour anything into it, water, juice, wine, kerosene, paint ... The content of the glass will change. But its form will remain the same.
So, the child learns precisely the form of adult behavior, and not the content, not the meaning, which are inaccessible to him. The child appropriates the mimic, gestural constructions of the parents. Intonation modulations and correspondence to the tonal range of the speech of an educator. Assimilates the positioning of emotional accents. The content of the behavior of an adult, its meaning cannot be understood by a child of 2-3 years and so on. What is happening is the meaningless copying of the psychophysiology of an adult. Therefore, working with a child, especially with the content of his reactions, does not make sense until early school age. Remove fears, anxiety associated with a specific reason (for example, scared of the elevator, dogs, uncles, etc.) - please. Systematic behavior - no. This is a very separate serious topic. It cannot be put into the framework of separate articles entirely.
In this article, as well as in the previous one, I do not pretend to be absolute truth in the last instance. I just rely on many years of practice and describe it. A small part of my practice is a few hundred cases of working with children (although I work mostly with adults) similar to those outlined above.
It's great that parents in our time devote a lot of time to children. They study literature, recommendations on the Internet, use all available resources. 
The family again becomes the main value. There is a huge number of competent psychologists and educators skillfully and professionally working with children and families.
And I am making my modest contribution to this process. As I understand, as I can, as I can. My articles are not purely scientific, let alone categorical. In the tradition of the journalistic genre, I will finish where I started. Remember the parable of the four blind men? I, as one of them, just touched this "elephant" many, many times and in different places, but I am sure that I do not fully know all its features and habits. On this, probably, I will finish about the whims. You can continue Caprice part 3, part 4, etc., but is it worth it? The topic is deep and endless, as, indeed, everything that concerns a person ...
Here are some cases from our psychological practice. We have included quite a lot of health examples here, because they are the most objective in terms of evaluating the effectiveness of the work done. It is one thing when a client says that his problem has disappeared, and another thing when this is confirmed by the conclusion of third-party experts.
Sometimes it's enough to wake up from sleep...
Young man A… complained of unsatisfactory health. For more than a year, he has had a slight temperature, reduced working capacity, disturbed sleep, apathy so strong that he had to take an academic leave. Examinations by doctors did not reveal anything that could be the cause of such a condition.
Family of four: Ah…, his mother, father and older sister live in their own house. Everyone has their own space. The father is an entrepreneur, democratic in character, friendly towards his son, sees in him the successor of his business. The relationship between father and son is calm, but not trusting. Mother is a housewife. In childhood, she behaved authoritatively towards her son, at present the relationship is even, but devoid of warmth. A has constant petty conflicts with her older sister, because of her obsessive moralizing.
At the time of the consultation, it would be possible to describe the psychological portrait of A… as a stable personality, there were completely realistic attitudes regarding the prospects for life in terms of work, creating a family, social circle. Contacts with peers are constructive, interests are subordinated to development goals. The only thing that could be “reproached” with A ... is a certain conformity in relation to the plans proposed by the father. At the same time, A... had the temperament of an introvert and increased emotional sensitivity. In principle, A ... was aware that the continuation of his father's business removes many questions, he was studying and entered the institute specialized in this business, but still A ... did not have much enthusiasm for such a future.
At some point in the consultation, A... thought deeply and said that he did not see his future under the "wing of his father" at all, he wanted to be free and not only in the future, but right now. Also, A… discovered for himself that it was painful for him to be in the financial care of his father. In principle, A ... knew about all this before, but, as it were, brushed it aside, was in a kind of hibernation. Now he suddenly woke up.
A day later, A... called and said that the temperature had disappeared and he felt much better. A week later, he was restored at the institute, but already at the evening department and went to work as an appraiser in an insurance company, which allowed him to "live on his own." Conditions like those with which he addressed us did not recur.
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Indigo children exist...
A mother came to the reception with a four-year-old girl. My daughter was diagnosed with childhood autism. For reference, this is practically a sentence to special education and life outside a full-fledged society; there are no opportunities for a radical cure today. Having been examined by many specialists: neuropathologists and psychiatrists, my mother nevertheless decided to consult a psychologist again. Formally, the main signs of autism were on the face: lack of interest in social contacts, lack of speech. However, there were no other signs: rigidity of behavior and obsessive repetitions in this case. Another sign of true autism is the "cold" look of the child.
Here was a completely different case, as soon as they entered, we saw a charming, but very frightened girl - indigo. There was unearthly wisdom in the eyes of this child (it is very difficult for us earthlings to feel the warmth of this look - this is love of a higher order than we used to observe in our lives). Indigo children often have difficulty adapting to our reality, and in this case, there were reasons from the mother. Mom admitted that one of the psychiatrists said -Mommy you yourself need to be treated. Indeed, my mother was a creative person - an artist by profession and, alas, with a manic syndrome. So it turned out that the girl fell into the "pincers" - on the one hand, the complexity of the society in which she found herself, on the other hand, the unstable psyche of her mother. The girl found herself alone in a completely incomprehensible world, without a point of support and was completely frightened by everything that was happening. Naturally, the development of the girl slowed down.
During the consultation, we communicated with the girl more non-verbally, that is, we told her something, asked, and she reacted with facial expressions and postures or some sounds. At some point, my colleague (in view of the complexity, we decided to conduct a consultation together) drew a flower and gave it to the girl with the words - This is for you . And then an event occurred that shook me to the very depths. The girl took a blank sheet of paper, a yellow felt-tip pen and drew something like the sun and handed it to my colleague. Before us was a small man of the purest consciousness and boundless love.
Later, things took a somewhat unexpected turn. Two months later, my mother called us and said that she had decided to give the girl to be raised by her grandmother, who lives in another city, and she would focus on creativity herself. Actually, she already took the girl there. Mom called to say that the girl spoke to her grandmother.
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Looking for love...
Entrepreneur WITH… from Moscow asked for advice about several problems. Now she is 30 years old, but she does not manage to meet a suitable man, plus periodic depressions and drunken states, plus, lately, a complete reluctance to visit her own company.
The consultations took place on Skype . The first thing that caught my eye - obviously did not fit into the image of a businessman and university teacher. S… blushed a lot, hid her face out of the camera’s line of sight, asked- Will you always see me? ... well ... I'll get used to it soon, don't pay attention. It became clear that he would have to work with a deeply structured complex and dangerous psychotic reactions. Intuitive conclusions were immediately confirmed in numerous biographical data. It turned out that depressive states last for several weeks and are expressed in stupid lying on the couch and constantly watching TV series, plus alcohol poured to a state of complete unconsciousness, while tearsflowing non-stop. It is difficult to say about whom and what she is crying about. Relations with men are periodic, if there is no permanent man, thenindulges in all serious - every day a new man. At the age of twenty, an abortion was performed at the 6th monthI was afraid what my mother would say. During the school period, there was a case when she rushed at her mother and father with a knife,one wasn't badly hurt. All this was completed by two adult suicide attempts.
It would be wrong to present S... as some unbridled monster. She graduated from high school with a gold medal. She was seriously engaged in music and vocals, now she participates in concerts and shows as a hobby. Travels a lot, reads a lot. She has brilliant erudition and strong charisma, is highly creative, they say about such people - doors open before them. As for the character, our consultation was very friendly, S ... was extremely frank, was on the "side of the psychologist", trust and warmth were even in abundance. This is what sounded deeply childish "syndrome - love me." S ... unconsciously offered herself to everyone and everyone as an object of love, offered in a childishly naive, open and passionate way. With all her intellectual power, truly extraordinary, S ... was completely unaware of her motives. Personality, in its own way, very integral in this case, was not able to transcend for introspection precisely because of integrity. Children's "bookmarks" classic -I need a man as good as my dad; Every few days I call my mother, we talk for 2-3 hours, I ask her if I am doing something wrong?; Dad tells me that I should be good, that I shouldn't let men do this to me.. This is a thirty-year-old woman of leadership inclinations speaking.
We understood that in this case, the best solution would be implicit "provocative therapy", since S... was in a borderline state with negative dynamics. The first half of the session was spent in an existential way and only then the activation model was activated. Finished the session with the so-called "mirror". In our opinion, "provocative therapy" in its purest form can only be used for people with a pronounced predominance of logical thinking or people of despotic typology.
Now S... is doing well, she is in a confident state, she has resumed her active movement towards her goals. Whether her current condition will become the rule for the rest of her life now depends only on herself. All cards are revealed. It's time to play new game called Life or return to the old one in your imagination. It depends on her.
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Life turned into a struggle for ...
Young man D…. asked about the difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex, plus tense relationships with colleagues, plus memory impairment and lack of inner peace.
Biography is quite good. He works as a lawyer in the civil service, he is moving up the career ladder, perhaps not as fast as he would like, but he is moving forward. He set himself the goal of active personal growth, in connection with which his days are scheduled literally by the minute, between work, attending concerts, reading books, martial arts, parkour, learning the language, etc., etc. Childhood passed in fairly good conditions, that rare a case when everything was in moderation and rights and obligations, and successes and failures. N…. has a good ability to learn, is sociable, is critical of himself in a good way, builds relationships quite confidently on the principles of parity. With all this (he is 26 years old), he cannot find a girl who would suit him and has recently been inclined to abandon further search. Psychological loneliness grows in his life. Friends gradually become acquaintances. Colleagues in the service are generally friendly, but the number of "jokes" and "pranks" has become excessive, reaching the point of mockery. In relations with the boss stiffness and timidity.
At the initial stage of counseling, we failed to identify any significant maladaptive attitudes and unrealistic expectations. Hidden needs, at least common ones: love, attention, security and their derivatives, were also not visible. Everything is within the normal range.
It was only at the end of our consultation that I suddenly had an insight. D ... not tall, 165 for a man - you can’t call a baby, but in reality everything is higher around.
I want to be equal, but when you look at people from the bottom up all your life, a defect in the perception of yourself arises. An unconscious battle begins, first for equality, then for the right to life, and then even with windmills. Drop by drop D ... turned into an eternal seeker of some truth about which he himself knows nothing, but in fact he became in societypersona non gratabecause of his inflamed adherence to principles and unconscious expansionism. A psychological distance has formed in his life, which he established by his own belief in some kind of injustice, the essence of which he himself is not aware of.
The psychotherapeutic process was built in three stages. We had with D ... first, several psychodramatic sessions aimed at restoring dialogue with people around, entering the context of mutual assistance and conditioning. The second stage was training for the transformation of behavior patterns from “playing to win” to “playing for fun”. We finished the work with a coaching session of building the desired reality.
Subsequent contacts with D ... showed that his life took on a different shape - friendly contacts arose, inner harmony appeared, prejudiced relations disappeared in the service.
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When there's no other way …
This is one of the cases of long-term work, when work with a client begins on one occasion, and ends at completely different levels.
At first, it seemed that the man calling from Moscow was well over 50. Judging by his intonation, he was seriously ill and was in an extremely depressed state, so depressed that there were doubts about the success of any psychotherapy. Sometimes you have to deal with such cases when a person is psychologically exhausted so much that it is already impossible to help him. It turned out that this is exactly the case. During the conversation, it turned out that the caller was actually 36 years old, in the recent past N… successful businessman. The state of health is really critical. General weakness, intestinal atony, dyskinesia of the gastrointestinal tract and gallbladder, etc., etc., the worst thing with the heart is arrhythmia, blockade of the pathways, myocardial dystrophy. Being a well-to-do person, N… was examined by all doctors in clinics of the highest level, but the etiology of what was happening was not identified. Despite the implementation of all the recommendations of the doctors and the long-term use of medications, the condition of N... continued to deteriorate. There is a question about the implantation of an artificial pacemaker.
We agreed that N... would gather his strength and come to St. Petersburg for a consultation.
During the consultation, very, very positive data were obtained on the state of the client's psychological patterns. Man held, highly successful, two higher education. Excellent climate in the family, two problem-free children. The childhood period of N... was characterized by a fairly high level of psychotraumatic events, the consequences of which, however, were completely reconstructed into an adaptive form in the very first years of independent life. About the high ability of N ... to reflection, says that he independently coped with the stutter that haunted him during the childhood period; after graduating from school, without any patronage of his parents, he organized his own business; confidently solved some physiological and psychological problems intimate plan. Thinking active, leadership, highly constructive and positive, recently began to engage in spiritual practices.
From the point of view of classical psychology, all objective socio-psychological constants H ... at the time of our meeting were normal. From the standpoint of ontopsychological research, the intentions of negative psychology on the part of the mother and the corresponding complementary zone of the “victim” in the psyche of the “inner child” were clearly observed. In such cases, when there are no objectively incomplete gestalts, the most difficult moment of therapy is how to convey to the client's consciousness that there is an error. The only facts confirming the negative dyad was the narrated N… dream. However, the dream is irrefutable for the psychologist, but doubtful in its significance for the client. Another fact was that N…. insisted on the return of his mother (she emigrated to Israel) to Russia (here he built an apartment for her next to his own). From a socio-cultural point of view, nothing reprehensible. Even cognitive therapy cannot be built on this.
In this situation, the method of existential therapy was used. The conversation, which analyzed the basic elements of existence: love, death, loneliness, freedom, responsibility, faith, etc., lasted 6 hours continuously. As immoral as it may sound, the client was asked to break off relations with his mother. Parting, N ... promised to weigh all the arguments properly, however, sufficient skepticism was felt.
About a month later, a call came from Moscow.
You know, everything has changed dramatically in my life. I resumed work, what was with my stomach and intestines now day and night. My heart let go, I was examined by cardiologists, of course, there are still complaints from medicine, but the issue of implanting a pacemaker has definitely been removed. My strength has returned, I am full of plans, I work day and night, my mood is cheerful. I’ll tell you honestly, at first I didn’t believe you, it doesn’t fit in my head how relationships with my mother can affect my health, but then I decided that this was my last chance. I simply had no other choice, death was nearby, I decided to try to follow your recommendations, even if I don’t understand.
Several years have passed since then. The life of N ... is developing successfully, both in terms of business, and in terms of health and personal life. Moreover, now N ... began a political career.
A few months after that "famous" consultation, we continued to work with N ... but for completely different reasons. As already mentioned, recently N… has begun to show interest in spiritual practices and everything related to personal growth, consciousness and deep cause-and-effect relationships operating in society. A large number of consultations have been held on these topics. Further, the task was set to reach a fundamentally higher level of success through the development of intuition. For two years, we held consultations by phone, plus after consultations, resumes were sent by e-mail. The next step on the part of N ... was an order for the development of a "Development Project" that would last a lifetime. Such a project has been created and is currently under implementation.
I would especially like to dwell on the relationship between N ... and his mother, so that there is no false impression of the anomaly of the ontopsychological approach. In this particular case, we are talking not so much about negativity as about the penetration into the unprotected psyche of someone else's semantic code. It is enough for a person to restore the “hanging” area of consciousness in order to become indifferent to such influences again. For two years, N... did not maintain contact with his mother, during this period, due to deep inner work, he was able to see his “weaknesses” and reconstruct them. Now N... has returned to the mainstream of normal relations with his mother, which are characterized by love and mutual understanding.
*******
Move from vision to action...
A 45-year-old woman works as a psychologist-speech therapist. Asked about a recurring exhausting dream saturated with fear. The plot of dreams is simple - Someone is trying to open the door and enter her room. The door shakes, literally arches and is about to break off its hinges and then someone very scary will enter. After these dreams L…, that was the name of our client, woke up in a terrible fear and for a long time could not come to her senses.
In this case, we decided to oneirodrama, that is, to play a dream in reality. For this purpose, we invited L ... to the group. The characters were chosen: a door, a key, a lock, fear, and the main character herself (she was played not by L ..., but by a woman friend). The task of L ... was to once again experience in all details the repetition of a recurring dream and gather the will to open the door herself in order to face fear face to face.
After the oneirodrama, sharing– sharing experiences of each of the participants. Kind of feedback. All participants did experience the presence of fear, but noted that the fear was not in L... but was in another male person. L herself also felt that fear was not her own, but a third-party being. We asked L... to remember his childhood. It turned out that her father worked somewhere in the special services and L ... remembered that he had spoken out more than once, leaving home, that he was not sure that he would see his daughter again. L…felt in the form of an insight that the images of fear and father were combined. In dreams, L... experienced the fear of her father, which he transmitted to her in childhood.
The images combined, the situation became clear on a rational level, and L... no longer suffered from such dreams.
*******
From a bunch of complexes to enlightenment…
This work was carried out for more than three years, only through email correspondence. More than forty consultations were held, amounting to about three hundred pages.
A young neurosurgeon from Nizhny Novgorod asked for a consultation about establishing a relationship with a girl. Along the way, neurodermatitis, bronchitis and high blood pressure were announced, plus constant conflicts with her older sister and misunderstandings at work. The misunderstandings consisted in the fact that, being a promising and very diligent doctor, in good standing with the hospital management, he did not manage to undergo advanced training. All opportunities for various reasons are closed as if on purpose.
When we started consultations with P…, that was the name of the young man, it immediately became clear that he has an unusually high emotional sensitivity, painfully experiences both his own mistakes and all the costs of modern budgetary medicine. The person is hyper-responsible, which leads to a huge amount of overtime and manipulation by colleagues. The same is true in relations with her sister - seeing the reliability and conscientiousness of P ... she loads him with guardianship of her small child. To refuse all this P ... cannot, but all the injustices he experiences silently inside himself. In such cases, there is always an old childhood affect associated with injustice. And so it turned out - in childhood he was hit by a car, the driver fled the scene and P ... lay for several hours on the side of the road in a helpless state, and in the hospital the doctor also laughed at him. At such moments, children make a vow to themselves - "When I grow up, I will never do this, I will save everyone who is in trouble." Something similar happened at a later age. The first sexual contact was unsuccessful, not so much in fact, but in the opinion of the girl who mocked him and, worst of all, told her classmates about his "failure". Plus, P's father... was a judge, which additionally contributed to the formation of unreasonably high moral attitudes. These childhood scenarios became decisive in the relationship with the last girl. Outwardly, the situation looked like he loved her, but she did not. But it turns out that this girl was recently hit by a car and she had serious post-traumatic phenomena. Obviously, in this case, love is replaced by a scenario, which was fully confirmed by objective analysis.
It should be noted that in the person of P ... we found a diligent and conscientious student. It is good that he was a doctor and had an initial knowledge of psychology. Therefore, we did not have to start his psychological education from scratch. It is education that can be used to characterize the style of our remote work with P…, because due to his financial difficulties, we could not conduct telephone conversations, only correspondence, which means that it was impossible to use many psychotherapeutic techniques. The work was built on a reflexive basis. We started each consultation with some conceptual core: freedom, morality, values, etc. with a detailed presentation of both theoretical premises and examples of a household plan and ended with questions for independent work. At this stage, the main thing was to "disperse" the consciousness of P ... into echelons, as the pilots say. In essence, P ... was a very highly educated and highly moral person, but he simply got confused in standards and priorities.
In recent years, P ... has been actively involved in bodybuilding. When we began to explore this aspect, we quickly came to understand that the motivations for exercising have nothing to do with the topic of health and pleasure. Only short-term improvements in working capacity and mood after training showed that energy was spent on compensating for feelings of inferiority (mainly of a sexual nature), plus the oedipus complex made it necessary to accumulate superiority due to the hypertrophy of masculine images. In order to adequately meet the psychological request, given his real fears of men, we recommended that P ... change the sport to martial arts. P… I chose kickboxing. The results came very quickly. After about a month of practicing a new sport, P ... had completely normalized pressure and neurodermatitis practically disappeared. P. himself noted that he began to feel much more confident in society, friends appeared, including among kickboxers.
The most difficult area was everything related to professional activity, where the criteria of morality and acceptable limits were in fact very blurred. How to measure the amount of energy delivered by a doctor, how to accurately determine the boundaries of responsibility when it comes to the life and death of a patient, especially since he is “in the hands” of not one but many specialists and attendants? For P... with his increased emotionality, not only clear, but deeply substantiated criteria for choosing certain actions were needed. Otherwise, he could literally burn out on a mental level. We had no other choice but to offer material of philosophical and theological content for reflection in order to create real, universal reference points of consciousness.
We will omit here everything related to therapeutic work regarding relationships with mother, sister, girlfriend, career moments. Within a year, all this improved and ceased to excite our client. Another thing is interesting. Those materials that were used during the work stirred up a completely different level of perception. P… became seriously interested in everything related to the infraphysical level of cause-and-effect relationships, and speaking in everyday language with theosophy and esotericism. Kick-boxing soon gave way to Wu-shu and Qigong, and the most read became: Vedic and Taoist texts, treatises by E. Roerich, D. Andreev, etc. Soon P ... began to study in one of the schools of spiritual development, received initiations, from him opened psychic abilities- vision of subtle matter, the semantic field of man. Our psychological work has moved into the mainstream of real consultations, and not psychotherapy, as it was before. P's life… moved to other levels of motivation from consumer to truly ontic.- There is another request, help me identify and find all my complexes, blocks of consciousness, you don’t have to decide for me, just help me see them. Complexities of an immeasurably higher level also appeared. - I used to think that this is the spiritual path and everything will be fine on it. In a white sparkling light………The worldview and the level of consciousness jumps incredibly sharply, then I live and feel that I am not in this world and look at the world as a theater, then I hate it. Here's what I get - Our world is the lowest and laziest. In fact, people are robots with programs, and they just execute them and that's all .... there is no more pain than seeing all this. At first I was angry that everyone was sleeping….The questions that had to be solved had no answer within the framework of classical psychology. - Here's another moment. For example, there is a reason for the problem in the mind. I will transform it. But it seems to leave a trace or some kind of complimentary place. Can it return to this place or connect to something else?
Even now we continue to exchange messages with P..., but rather as colleagues than as a teacher with a student. What happened to P... is called enlightenment. Works like this probably develop ourselves no less than the client.
The most win-win option for therapy with teenagers in an educational institution is art therapy. Not only drawings help to explore the emotional experiences of the children, but also work with kinetic sand, clay, metaphorical maps.
Tags: Adolescence , Art Therapy , , Metaphorical cards ,
Gestalt therapist Yulia Sushkova: “In my life, it happened that almost at the same time I started practicing Gestalt therapy, divorcing my husband and parting with my beloved. At the same time, my first clients appeared. These were women going through a divorce, going getting divorced or experiencing unrequited love."
Tags: Divorce , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Gestalt therapy ,
Psychosomatics: The struggle between "I-want" and "I-must"
Very often I ask this question to clients - how much "I-want" and "I-should" are in you? Clients typically respond that approximately 70% is "I-Must" and 30% is "I-Want". If the client suffers from a psychosomatic illness, then the percentage is approximately the same - 95% "I-Must" and 5% "I-Want".
Tags: Psychosomatics , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Tyranny of duty ,
Psychologist Anastasia Zvonareva: “There are people who are ideal to the point of horror. They never refuse anyone or anything. They are always happy with everything. They don’t ask for anything for themselves. at night they are ready to serve."
Tags: Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Gennady Maleichuk: "When aggression turns out to be "outside the law", then it transforms into resentment. Resentment is a milder, more intelligent form of anger. In it, most of the energy that could be directed to organizing contact turns out to be stopped and redirected into the realm of imaginary contact".
Tags: Resentment , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Types of toxic men: "misogyn" - hates women and feminine; a man with a complex of power, who wants to command and rule; psychopath, lacking empathy, "devoid of conscience"; aggressor - can push, hit a woman, throw a heavy object at her; a male appraiser, like a jeweler, will always tell a woman how many carats she has gained.
Tags: Domestic violence , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Abuse ,
He is often dissatisfied with something, but he never talks about it right away, preferring to endure and punish his wife with rudeness and anger. After a quarrel, which he himself started, he takes offense for a long time and never comes up first. Strives to emphasize his rightness and superiority. He believes that the wife herself should guess what he wants if she loves him. He lives in a chronically depressed, irritated mood, nothing pleases him, he is tired of everything. He says that he tries not to feel anything at all, "so calmer", he distinguishes only those sensations that speak of pain.
Tags: Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
On a rational level, everyone has had an experience when someone was preferred to him: a younger brother or sister, another employee or colleague, another girl or man ... But in the topic of cheating, we are talking about a preference of a special kind. About the preference of another person as a sexual partner. About the preference for the other in the most intimate, most secret sphere of our life.
Tags: Cheating , Relationships , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Family psychologist Anna Zolotareva: “Modern children are used to the fact that everything will be decided for them: who to be, where to live, and what car to drive in the future. They don’t know what they really want, because it’s always for them parents wanted. The needs of parents and children were no longer different."
Tags: Education , Motherhood , Art therapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Many women say that they want a status man, but at the same time they are afraid to communicate with him. And a man is unlikely to want a relationship with a girl who is uncomfortable with him. If you can't deal with your emotions, there is a risk of being lonely. Or, you can find the cause of fear and eliminate it.
Tags: Women , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
This was the first case of working with such vivid narcissistic tendencies in a child of 6-7 years old, showing me how the very presence of another person (in this case, a therapist) can be unbearable for a child who is used to episodic and frightening figures.
Tags: Difficult behavior , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Family psychologist Tatyana Sarapina: "It is a big mistake to think that the other knows how you will feel better. This is a mistake of a small child who believes in the omnipotence of a parent."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Responsibility ,
Psychologist Pavel Zaikovsky: “The patient was sure that at work everyone was watching how she was doing her assignments, so she experienced constant anxiety, discomfort and felt disgusting. I suggested that she conduct a behavioral experiment, or rather: tomorrow, at work, do not focus on her emotions, but to observe the employees."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Eletskaya Irina: "Loneliness. It can be very different. But the eyes of lonely people are somewhat similar. They can be recognized by pricklyness, alienation, by the depth of despair. By hopelessness and self-absorption."
Tags: Loneliness , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Music therapist Vladimir Elkin: "Often children have a symptom that embodies the problems of their parents. A little boy and his overweight, gloomy mother came to me. She is exhausted by the boy's behavior and her gloomy face says:" I suffered, and now you suffer.
Tags: Art therapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Vladimir Selivanov: "Therapy of panic attacks is one of my specializations, and over the years of practice, I have repeatedly heard from my clients the words:" I want to become the same as I was - normal. "But it was this" normal "past that led to panic attacks in the present.Therefore, I propose to consider panic attacks as a form of personality crisis - the old supports no longer hold the nascent new world, but new supports have not yet been created. Loss of support leads to panic."
Tags: Panic attacks , Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Many borderline clients, when sharing their trauma story, inevitably provoke their therapists from time to time. And the ability of the therapist to take responsibility for what is happening to him, instead of blaming the client for it, can be a turning point in therapy.
Tags: Psychotherapy , Borderline Personality Disorder , Case Studies in Psychotherapy , Translations ,
Psychotherapist Olga Popova: “Parents taught Anya a lot, but they couldn’t teach how to live without them, how to be the oldest in the family. Anya was confused. And in this confusion she felt helpless. what she didn’t do, didn’t give enough, didn’t manage, that she was a bad daughter, mother and wife.
Tags: Feelings of guilt , Loss of loved ones , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
If a man is a "sissy" - is it forever?
Psychologist Olga Milashina: "A sissy is a man who, growing up physically, remains a little boy in his soul. His emotional connection with his mother is unlimited, as a rule, she replaces the whole world for such a man. There is no place for any other woman in life" mother's son."
Tags: Motherhood , Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Separation from parents ,
Alexithymia is a psychological state of a person in which a person, having lost the ability to determine and manifest his own emotions, is forced to try to look normal in the eyes of others. Psychiatrist Saito Satoru talks about this disorder using examples from his own practice.
Tags: Management of emotions , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Feelings , Alexithymia ,
5 December 2017
Psychotherapist Anna Zarembo: "Once a friend called me and asked if I could take one of his acquaintances to therapy, otherwise" the poor girl was already exhausted.
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Lesya Naumenko: "While working on this article, I wanted to make visible both the pain and the beauty of people who have experienced a panic attack. It's all close and close to us, in our daily life."
Tags: Panic attacks , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Olga Milashina: “The projection of the father is often found in the husband, these two figures, in the perception of the woman, are intertwined into one. If the father was cruel, the husband is perceived intolerant and evil. greed. If the father was aloof, then the husband does not care about his wife."
Tags: Men , Family , Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Olga Podolskaya: "I'm fine, I just want to hang myself" - this is a classic request when contacting a psychologist. And most often such a request is the result of an attempt to objectify one's own spiritual life. The fact is that happiness is not objective, it is subjective. But, unfortunately, we are not taught happiness in school."
Tags: Relationships , Family , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Natalya Olifirovich: "Sometimes "virgin" clients come to me - those who have not had any therapeutic experience, and, accordingly, previous relationships with a specialist. And for the first time we go through this difficult path together: acquaintance, conclusion of a contract, designation boundaries, ups and downs on the seesaw of transferences. But sometimes my client had someone before me. And sometimes more than one. And then our relationship is "loaded" also with previous experience - experience with the previous therapist. "
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Gennady Maleichuk: "The same symptom can have different causes, and in order to understand the essence of its message to the individual, it is necessary to carefully study the context in which it occurs, i.e. a detailed acquaintance with the life history of this personality".
Tags: Psychosomatics , Women , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Natalya Olifirovich: “When I picked up the phone and said “I am listening to you,” I heard a voice in response. Automatically answering yes ... hello Polina? yes, it’s me ... yes, a colleague called and told me about you, yes convenient on Tuesday - I suddenly felt fascinated by this unfamiliar voice. Pure, warm, gentle and strong at the same time - this rarely happens. And I wondered - what does its owner look like?
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychotherapist Alexander Roitman: "This is what my ideal consultation looked like for many years. Very strong desire, value comparable to life, severe pain, honesty, willingness to pay. And great satisfaction from the work that I received."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt therapist Gennady Maleichuk: "We are talking about the heritage that is passed down from generation to generation in the form of life attitudes, a picture of the World, a picture of the Other and ways of relating with it, which forms life scenarios. In this case, we are talking about a way of interaction in a dyad" mother-child" with a violation of the "flow of love".
Tags: Education , Motherhood , Family , Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Family psychologist Daria Grosheva: “From childhood we are taught that “they carry water on the offended” and that “good kids don’t get angry.” forgive and let go, "but all these tips forget to add: it is impossible to do this in one step. More precisely, it is possible, but very difficult. And if it is absolutely accurate, that is, there is a choice - you can not forgive."
Tags: Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Daria Razmakhnina: "My client peacefully divorced her husband and was left alone - a strong, self-sufficient woman who never lived for herself. She made repairs in an empty apartment, retired. And suddenly he appeared."
Tags: Love , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Ilya Latypov: “A man is a person. A woman is also. We are all looking for warmth. And we often come across “relationship” games, heavily involved in fear of intimacy. Let the other prove that he loves me very, very much - then, maybe I will favorably condescend to you."
Tags: Relationships , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
"Forgetting about love for each other. There are many such families"
Psychologist Daria Razmakhnina: "The acquaintance with this family began with the arrival of mother and son. Wonderful, glorious - but terribly exhausted by the endless problems of study and education. Forgetting about love for each other. There are many such families. Very many."
Tags: Parenting , Difficult behavior , Family , Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Irina Eletskaya, psychologist: "Asya began to forgive her parents almost immediately after she came to therapy. She forgave them for a long time. Deeply. Sincerely. She was finally able to see them as real. Not only domineering, overwhelming, inaccessible in their peremptory rightness, devaluing and rejecting, as she knew them all her life. But confused, helpless, insecure."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Clinical psychologist Elena Leontyeva: "The first experiences of hospitalizations in a psychiatric hospital are of great importance for subsequent treatment, the patient's attitude to the disease and, in general, become cornerstones in a person's biography."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Katerina Murashova: "I am not a shy person, and I rarely get scared at the reception - I have seen too much in a quarter of a century of practice. But, as everyone knows, there are no rules without exceptions."
Tags: Psychotherapy , Dysfunctional family , Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Gestalt consultant Natalia Spirina: “A great influence on our relationships with wives and husbands, and with children, too, are relationships with previous spouses or partners. Did we manage to part with them, which is called in a good way, while maintaining a human relationship to each other? "
Tags: Family , Child-parent relationship , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Family constellations ,
Psychologist Anastasia Platonova: "The concept of blood feud, the history of the Montecchi and Capulet clans, anger at my friend's offender or my girlfriend's husband's mistress, resentment at dad because he offended mom (or vice versa) - all these are familiar examples of borrowed feelings."
Tags: Management of emotions , Resentment , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychologist Boris Drobyshevsky: "A 28-year-old man applied for psychological help due to problems with expressing aggression and defending one's own opinion. In appearance - a thin asthenic physique, in the course of therapy he often complained of general apathy and lack of physical strength. In the process of work, episodes from childhood surfaced when, at the age of 5, my father came home drunk ...
Tags: Psychotherapy , Resources , Case Studies in Psychotherapy , Body Oriented Therapy ,
Gestalt therapist Marina Tsvetkova: “At the reception, a woman spoke about a strong emotional attachment to her son. She devoted her life to him: she raised him, worked tirelessly, denied herself everything. And in response - only his irritation. “The son tolerates me, because I give him money," the unfortunate mother complains. In the course of the conversation, it turns out ...
Tags: Psychotherapy , Family , Child-parent relationship , Emotional dependence , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Psychotherapist Maria Kudryavtseva: “Here is a typical example: Ira is an ordinary girl “from a good family.” The profession of an economist always seemed boring, but her mother insisted that it was money and prestigious. stupid, and her parents - wise and wishing her only the best, and she is very grateful to them, but her parents also instilled the habit of looking back at the opinions of others.
Tags: Psychotherapy , Personality , Existential crisis , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy , Meaning of life ,
Psychologist Lyudmila Kolobovskaya: “The client, a young attractive girl, came to a consultation with a problem of depression. Life was not going well, lately she was crying all the time, and the first two hours of work were completely “wet”. Approaching the real problem of therapy, an episode occurred. "
Tags: Depression , Psychotherapy , Mental trauma , Cases from the practice of psychotherapy ,
Clinical psychologist Lyubov Kirillova: "A person does not know and does not understand himself so much, he thinks so "in pieces" that he comes to a psychologist to hear about himself, to collect a complete picture. And when you demonstrate to him his uniqueness and originality from his own facts, he is surprised. "
There was such a case in my practice. An episode of communication with a client who, right during the consultation, threatened to commit suicide.
I once spoke briefly about this case. Let's take a closer look at a typical story of too loose communication between a client and a psychologist.
In the sphere of private psychological practice, there are quite often cases of “hazing” relations between a psychologist and a client. The psychologist does not depend on the employer, and practically does not depend on any supervisory authorities.
"You have no methods against Kostya Saprykin" (c)
I received a diploma, created an individual entrepreneur - and the only thing left to do (yeah) is to create a flow of customers.
I know about some cases of "hazing" relationships, if only because this important fact always pops up when consulting a psychologist. The client (ka) will definitely (and very soon) tell about such an episode from his past. For many reasons. For example, because it was at this stage that the past "psychotherapy" reached a dead end.... Here everyone will agree that psychotherapy ends quickly.
I will tell you about one of the first cases in my counseling practice. In 2003-04, I was just starting to consult, after university, at my own peril and risk. Met with clients in cafes and other similar places.
By the way, now meetings of psychologists with clients in a cafe are as common practice as counseling via Skype. But everything happens for the first time and innovations are perceived by many people with hostility. Therefore, now I am even proud of the fact that then I did not pay attention to skeptical people.
During the period of lack of real experience, any meeting with a client made a strong impression on me, but even among these stories there were some completely out of the ordinary...
It all started with a standard request from a young girl, such as "lately I feel squeezed out, I'm constantly in a bad mood, I'm confused in myself, I can't concentrate on work, everything falls out of my hands." My mother told me, do not meet a person without fully understanding his request. But who listens to mom's voice in their head anyway?)
A girl much younger than me came to the meeting, quite pretty. During the conversation with this client, information about five suicide attempts is clarified (if I knew in advance, I would not even continue the conversation - only such cases are worked out in the clinic). During an hour of conversation, the girl explains little, but tries to lead me to some conclusion and hint at something. In the end, she directly tells me that the previous psychologist was not as insensitive (like me), he helped her a lot (although she found it difficult to formulate exactly what). She often spent the night with him, he even took her with him on a trip, and this form of psychological work suits her and this is what she wants from me.
Seeing my confusion and bewilderment, hysteria begins. She continues to talk, switching from crying to unhealthy hysterical laughter, after laughter comes threats right now to make another suicide attempt. Then again crying, hysteria and again in a circle. Barely escaped.
In general, I got enough impressions. On the way home, I drank three bottles of beer (I was still quite young, forgive me)... For two months I did not answer letters from clients... Fortunately, this was not my main source of income...
And why didn’t I treat her with the miraculous method that the previous psychologist used? My beliefs are simple. They are flexible, of course, but quite stable)
There are psychiatrists who still transcend the code of ethics and reveal the stories of their patients. This is not good, but thanks to them, we can look into the heads of people whose minds have either been damaged, or, on the contrary, have seen the whole truth.
It seemed to the patient that he was being watched from the TV, listened to through the telephone, and then the received information was publicly transmitted through the same means of communication. Also, the enemies pour spirits on his car from the inside, irradiate the apartment, and his passport and map are marked with special signs, according to which special services are monitoring him. The diagnosis was unequivocal - schizophrenia.
A patient was presented for a forensic psychiatric examination, against whom the prosecutor's office opened a criminal case on the fact of vandalism.
What's the matter: about six months ago, against the background of a relative lull in psychosymptoms, a man suddenly had voices in his head. Against the background of the action of haloperidol, the voices of the dead were heard very indistinctly. And then the citizens of the deceased and threw an idea: let's, they say, telephone the cemetery! The patient rushed to fulfill the special order cheerfully, with a twinkle, and in a short time the city lost a couple of dozens of working street telephones, and a couple of dozens of not quite living subscribers connected to the afterlife telephone network, respectively.
A necromancer telephone operator was caught tritely: the cemetery watchman, who decided at the wrong time to make a detour of the property, stumbled upon a suspicious type who was burying a telephone receiver in a hole next to the grave.
Male, 47 years old, schizophrenic. He told how he communicated with the devil: he simply appeared in the room in the form of a dark-haired man with horns. He did not feel hostility from him, therefore he considered himself the official representative of the devil in the kingdom of people.
The same patient complained about the neighbors, allegedly they irradiated him through the wall. 
Once a rather aggressive and arrogant young man entered the department. Demonstrated complete fearlessness, because he believed that he was the reincarnation of Bruce Lee.
Guy 30 years old, schizophrenic. He began to be attracted to boys and realized that he was a sinner and would burn in hell for it. Then follow the schizophrenic logic: he took a knife and went to the outskirts of the city, deciding that if he attacked someone, then evil men would run to the screams of the victim and stone him to death, which would automatically make him a martyr. And martyrs always go to heaven. But for some reason, passers-by did not stone him, but simply called the police.
“When we were still on an internship, we were told about an interesting topic on which one of the employees wrote a PhD thesis. The fact is that patients with delusional disorders, by definition, have no criticism of the content of their delusions. At the same time, they can quite adequately perceive what is not directly related to this plot. The essence of the technique described in the dissertation was that the doctor, in a confidential conversation, told the patient about a certain patient who ... followed by a description of delirium, identical in content to what the patient had. Then the doctor asked the interlocutor to express his opinion on this issue. The overwhelming majority of answers sounded something like this: - Well, this Ivan Petrovich of yours is a fool! Such nonsense carries! I'm serious about…”
A woman of an interesting type entered, which can only be found in literary works: pretentiously dressed, a lot of makeup, expressive speech. And all because she appeared from the birthday, more precisely, from the ten thousandth anniversary of the Queen of Cats. 
Somehow, a man bursts into the clinic, holding a large sports bag in his hands, madness in his eyes, and yells: “Help, cure me!” Doctors open the bag, and it is full of papers with the results of procedures a la MRI, gastroscopy, ECG, some 30 colonoscopies! He feels pain in the body acutely and sincerely does not understand why he is told that he is healthy. And all his life he runs around doctors, in particular, surgeons. They cut him - they find nothing - they sew him up. The patient turned out to be a hypochondriac, and his pains are phantom.
It happened once: a man came in with a persecution mania. The conviction that they are following him, they want to rob him, and other manic fictions and hallucinations on this topic.
I stayed in the hospital and received treatment. He went out - it turned out that his house had really been robbed. 
“My wife was once called for a consultation in pulmonology. And there: it seemed - how, where, the granny is God's dandelion, and then - once - cockroaches appeared in the most brazen way on her snow-white hospital sheet. So she began to make quite fair claims against the medical staff - they say, don’t catch mice at all.
In the department, on the way to the ward, the nurse re-told how it all happened, and added:
- She's better now. Here, look.
A perfectly happy old woman sat in a hospital bed. With an enthusiastic look, she looked around her bed and, literally radiating joy, gently stroked the sheet with her palm. The nurse explained in an undertone:
- I came up, shook the sheet and said that there were no more cockroaches, but how many flowers they poured on her at the request of the manager! Since then, he has been enjoying it. Maybe not prescribe anything to her - it’s good for a person ... "
